Sunday, October 11, 2009

Mere Christianity

I recently completed reading "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis and it really is a fantastic read. It contained great insights which i thought would be a good idea to share with everyone. Enjoy.

"In the same way, a christian is not a man who never goes wrong, but a man who is enabled to repent and pick himself up and begin over after each stumble"

"But the christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life in him. He does not think God will love us because we are good but that God will make us good beacuse He loves us"

"When a man is getting better he understands more and more clearly the evil that is still left in him"

"God knows our situation, He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perservance of our will to overcome them"

"After each failure, ask for forgiveness, pick yourself up and try again. Very often what God first helps us toward is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again"

"We learn, on the one hand, that we cannot trust ourselves even in our best moments, and, on the other, that we need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven. The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection"

"Pride leads to every other vice. It is the complete anti-God state of mind"

"Pride gets no pleasure out of having something only out of having more of it than the next man"

"If you think you are not conceited, it means you are you are very conceited indeed"

"If you read history, you will find that christians who did most for the present world were just those who thought most of the next"

"We never find out the strength of the evil impulse, inside us until we try to fight it"

"God looks at you as if you were a little Christ. Christ stands beside you to turn you into one"

"I want you. I have not come to torment your natural self but to kill it"

"The only help I will give is help to become perfect. You may want something less but I will give you nothing less"

"You must realise from the outset that the goal towards which He is beginning to guide you is absolute perfection; and no power in the whole universe except you yourself, can prevent Him from taking you to that goal"

"We may be content to remain what we call "ordinary people" but He is quite determined to carry out a different plan. To shrink back from that plan is not humility, it is laziness and cowardice. To submit to it is not conceit or megalomania; it is obedience"

"You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself"

"The change will not be completed in this life for death is an important part of the treatment"

It really is a great book and will definitely recommend it to anyone who wants to learn more.

Take care

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Boundless Love

The one thing am learning as i progress in the xtain walk is the depth of God's love for us. I mean its immense and overpowering. You always like He cant forgive me now. Not again. Not after what i've done. And then He turns around and blesses you. Over and over again. After a while you feel like Father, please stop, i feel too guilty. Please stop. But He doesnt. It gets to a point when you just say Father i accept your love for me. I cant promise i will always be good but that I will always be with you. Please dont let me wander out of the boundaries of your love. Bring me back to you.

Its been a while since my last blog post. I intend to be more active as from now on. Wish everyone a great week ahead!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Permanent Cure or Constant Medication

Everyone has weaknesses they struggle with which are sources of pain. My struggle with my individual failings have always been a major focus of my Christian life. I’ve prayed, cried, meditated, fasted but its still there. The thing is, I have been asking God for a cure. For it to just disappear. But am coming to the realisation that there is a possibility this weakness might never go away. Which leads to my critical question. Should i be expecting a permanent cure for my weakness i.e. DELIVERANCE or depend on constant medication i.e. FORGIVENESS, MERCY and GRACE?

After much consideration i believe each of these positions are neither here nor there. Overall, i have to believe that my weakness is there for a reason and is supposed to serve some divine purpose in my life. I just have to figure out what it is trying to teach me and work on it. What root issue it is trying to fix. But i need to have faith that my deliverance is assured and there is sufficient medication to keep me together until my deliverance comes.

Father, forgive me of all the wrong i've done. You know i wish i could always be right with You even though sometimes i don't want to be. Help me Father to keep your tenets but more importantly, help me to keep pressing forward irrespective of my progress or lack of it.

Thank you Father for all you have done in my life. Continue to keep me close to You. I need you now more than ever.

Love You

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Cry Freedom.

Freedom is a concept mostly associated with captivity in a physical location like a jail, prison or some remote location in the Niger Delta. But what about the other intangible prisons we live in. Prisons where our physical movements are not restricted but our spiritual development is. Prisons of guilt. Prisons of bad habits. Prisons of negative thoughts.

I have thought for many times that ive been freed from these cells. But time after time, i see myself walk back into them and voluntarily put on my shackles again. Why? I dont know. Is it that am so used to the prison that am scared of the outside world? Am i unsure of what my new life could be? What this new exciting world could offer me? Can the love of the familiar really be that strong?

While i still seek the answers to these questions, am comforted by the fact that despite my actions i am indeed free. My stay in the spiritual jail house is solely at my discretion. I can walk in and out as i please. Am not being held against my will. I DECIDE WHEN TO GO IN AND WHEN TO GET OUT.

No matter what happens, the fact is Jesus has paid the ultimate price for my freedom. I might stumble and fall. Make mistakes. Backslide. Fill my head with nonsense. But the fact still remains. I am free indeed. Am too strong for the shackles to keep me down. It really is the time to cry FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take care peeps.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Guilt and Grace

I recently read a book by Derek Prince on "Spiritual Warfare" and it mentioned something i found particularly interesting. Amongst other things, it spoke of how guilt is the weapon of choice for the devil to frustrate our walk with God. I have personal experience of how guilt makes you feel unworthy to come into God's presence. But this is quite funny because if you think of it, can we ever be worthy to come into God's presence? Only for the grace of God can we ever approach the Lord no matter how sinful or sinless we believe we are.

I personally believe that the grace of God is the greatest gift God has ever given us. Greater than houses, spouses, cars, jobs, cash. All that is worthless when you compare it to the power of forgiven sin. To be honest, all i want to do is walk in the grace of God. Its freely available for all of us to reach for. Being cleansed of sin is such an uplifting experience. We should never let our failings and failures get us down. We should not let the devil still have a hold on us after he successfully tricks us. When those feelings of guilt surface, we should look at him and say "YOU MIGHT HAVE WON THAT LAST ROUND. BUT THIS FIGHT IS NOW OFFICIALLY OVER. I HAVE ASKED FOR FORGIVENESS. IT HAS BEEN GIVEN TO ME. GOD'S GRACE HAS WASHED AWAY MY SIN. I WIN. GET LOST!!!!!!!!"

The battle is the Lord's. With God's grace on our side all we have to do is stay in the fight and he will take care of the rest. So the next time you feel guilt just remember "GRACE".

Easy peeps

Monday, February 02, 2009

Create in me a Clean Heart

I bumped into this passage today which just encapsulates my mood right now. I know how David felt in this psalm. Here we go. Wish everyone a great week ahead.

PSALMS 51:1-4

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence, and take not thy holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of thy salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.
13 Then I will teach transgressors thy ways, and sinners will return to thee.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of thy deliverance.
15 O Lord, open thou my lips, and my mouth shall show forth thy praise.
16 For thou hast no delight in sacrifice; were I to give a burnt offering, thou wouldst not be pleased.
17 The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
18 Do good to Zion in thy good pleasure; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem,
19 then wilt thou delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on thy altar.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

A Prayer for Forgiveness

Father, have mercy on my soul
For failing you in the heat of the battle
For preferring the cisterns of the flesh to your heavenly waters
For doing my will without regard to yours
I know You taught me better
Be gracious to me Daddy and come back
I long for your presence
I am nothing without You
Just a lost pathetic carnal man
Please fill the missing piece in my heart
And make me whole again
Daddy, please make me whole again
You know I love You
Please let my actions in the heat of the battle
Profess this love which I freely express
Thank you Daddy for your grace

Monday, January 19, 2009

Attack – The Best form of Defence

Ephesians 6:
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.
11 Put on the whole armour of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore take the whole armour of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,
15 and having shod your feet with the equipment of the gospel of peace;
16 besides all these, taking the shield of faith, with which you can quench all the flaming darts of the evil one.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,
19 and also for me, that utterance may be given me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel,

My last post included a quote from Noel Jones book “The Battle for the Mind” stating “the mind is the seat of all spiritual and carnal conflict”. I’ve been thinking a lot about my strategies to fighting this battle. Ephesians 6 clearly states we are fighting principalities and powers. Scary as it sounds. I believe this 100%. However, I noticed that I’ve always played a defensive strategy in this respect. I’ve let the let the wiles of the devil get to me and then start to mount my defence. By then, it’s normally too late.

However, I have come to realise that offence is the best form of defence. Rather than wait for the devil to turn up. I should take the battle to him. I need to go to his backyard and remind him who my daddy is. How he has no power over me and how I’ve got God watching my back. To be honest, I used to be scared of the devil. Didn’t want to disturb him so he wont disturb me. Like having an uneasy truce. But for me to advance in this xtian walk, I need arm myself with the full armour of God and join in the battle against the spirits of darkness. You cant do neutral Switzerland. There is no hiding place. If there is a calling of God on your life, you can expect the devil to be there to ensure that calling is not heeded. Our job is not just to fend him off but to take the battle to Him. The passage below, lets us know we can. Take care peeps.

Luke 10:19 Behold, I have given you authority to tread upon serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy; and nothing shall hurt you.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

In Pursuit of Purity

Pastor Noel Jones preached at the 2nd service on the Sunday after The Experience and i felt inspired and was determined to catch up on his writings. I stumbled on a book he wrote called "The Battle for the Mind" at Laterna Ventures and it was a fantastic read. The 1st chapter was full of insights which i would like to share with everyone:

"The mind is the seat of all spiritual and carnal conflict"

"Whenever someone responds to the internal motivation of the Word and comes to God, while at the same time ceases to react to the external stimulus of the world, he will encounter resistance and turmoil"

"The only altar you can lay your troubles is the altar within you. If God is in you, then He is the one who introduces the conflict in order that when you meet God at the place of surrender (the altar),He can begin to replace those things that have always caused conflict between your carnal or sinful desires and the will of the spirit."

"It is important to understand that your battle is not with the devil; it is with God, for God has set you up, through the introduction of conflict into your life, in order to bring you to a place of maturity"

"...indeed, man's depravity make his helpless evil behaviour prerequisite for the grace of God. It is his powerlessness to change himself that qualifies him to receive empowering presence that we call grace"

My last post of 2008 spoke of my desire for purity. This is my desire for this year. To make significant progress in the battle between my spiritual and carnal self. I have already found out in the first few days of this year that this is not going to be a sissy fight but an all out war. Believe me. I now fully understand the verse "The Kingdom of God suffereth violence and the violent take it by force". My deliverance from my carnal self is not going to be easy. I have accepted this and have braced myself for what lies ahead.

I wish everyone a fantastic 2009.


Monday, December 01, 2008

One Wish

If you could ask God for one thing and He guaranteed it would be immediately yours what would you ask for and why?

As i posed this question its only fair i answer it. I wish i was pure. Pure in my thinking, pure in my actions, pure in my desire to please the Lord. I desire to possess a body which is fit for the Holy Spirit to continually dwell in. A body free from sin. If there was one thing i could ask of the Lord, this is it. Purity.

Father i believe purity is also your desire for my life. Please grant me the strength to stay on this road and pull me back if (or is it when) i begin to stray.

Whatever is your "one wish" from the Lord, i pray He grants you your hearts desires in His time which am beginning to understand is always the best.

On a lighter note, as we approach the end of 2008, i wish everyone happy holidays and all the best.


Sunday, November 16, 2008


"When the people of Israel saw it, they said to one another, "What is it?" For they did not know what it was. And Moses said to them, "It is the bread which the LORD has given you to eat."
Exodus 16:15

The children of Israel asked for food in the desert and when it came in the form of manna, they didnt recognise it. The Jews always wanted a messiah but when Jesus came they did not recognise Him. Can it be possible that our prayers are answered and we dont even know it? Can it be that we are asking for something and just because it doesnt arrive in the "gen-gen" package we wanted we dont notice it is here. I say this because at the start of the year i asked for God for a lot of things and as we approach it i feel as if nothing has happened. But if i look round, i have a lot to be happy about and grateful for. Especially as i dont deserve any of it.

Can it be that as we look for seismic shifts in our lives. We miss out on the incremental small steps. This bible verse sums it up:

Deuteronomy 8:3 And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know; that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but that man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the LORD.

His preparing us for the future. So the next time you pray make sure your prayer has not already been answered :)

Wish everyone a great week

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Caging One's Demons

Ok. I know this isn't a topic that people like talking about but its one i think about a lot as its an area i have personal experience in. Now don't get me wrong. Am not talking about being possessed by demons, but instead areas of persistent weakness. There are some parts of our lives where we never fall, that we are not tempted by. But there are other areas of our lives were, to be honest, it doesn't take much. Battling these "demons" possess benefits and potential dangers. I personally believe these battles can serve as either keys to our destiny or the reasons for our downfall.

Facing and accepting one's demons is tough. But if you think the battle just starts there, forget it. Caging the demon is a very very long maybe even life-time struggle. But caging it we must because behind this lies our destiny. My journey is still on going but thought i should share the main lesson i've learnt so far. Learn to forgive yourself. This battle is long-term and just because you fall, doesnt mean you are failing. By constantly picking yourself up, you are building resolve which is necessary for the journey ahead.

We all have our crosses to bear. But ive also learnt that it is important to have someone who you can share the burden of carrying that cross with. A sort of accountability partner who will see you through. Give you encouragement in your time of despair. Strengthen you in your time of weakness and help you through the process.

The undercurrent of this blog has been this journey to the person God wants me to be. Its been a bumpy ride but i leave you with the words of Mary Mary which i believe is very apt.

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I Love You

I am in love with God. When i look at my life and see all the close calls i have encountered, the stupid things i have done and still do, am amazed how God sees me in all my foolishness and still forgives me and blesses me. It is unreal. I honestly cannot fathom the depths of your love father. You really are a great God. I only wish i could be that forgiving to people who hurt me. To stop being judgmental when i see people whose crosses are different from mine. Father i know you desire to teach me steadfastness and discipline. I know why you want me to adopt these things in my life. Father i will continue to strive to show my love for you and do my best to uphold your commandments. I love you Father. Please always be near.

Monday, September 08, 2008

All I Really Wanted

"In my time of desperation
Came this simple revelation
That all I ever really wanted
Was you"

These lyrics were taken from a song by Donnie McClurkin and always pierce through my soul whenever i hear it. I know exactly what Donnie means. When its all said and done, after striving to keep up with the rat race and seemingly carry all the worlds problems, all we really want is to be surrounded by God's love and to experience His peace. I don't know how to explain it but whenever i feel God near me, i just feel at ease. I can rest in the comfort that despite all thats ahead of me, everything is gonna be alright. I wish i could live like this all day and always have Him by my side. The truth is He is always here. It is possible. Just have to remember to reach out to Him when things are starting to go "hairy". I love you Father. Always stay close to me!!!!!

Have a great week ahead peeps!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Better Late than Never

One thing i write a lot about on this blog is God's mercy and grace. Though repetitive, its probably the most important part of ones xtain life and God knows i need his mercy badly. Ive missed fellowshipping with my daddy. I missed our intimate moments. Ive been carried away with myself. Ive told him i wont be naughty anymore and will come back. Ive told him i wont fall again. And you know what. Ive broken every promise over and over again. The devil tries to tell you its over. You cant go back. He will never take you back. Not after what you did. Not after what you said. But all that are lies. I come before you Lord asking for your forgiveness for the millionth time. Not because i take you for granted but because i have no other choice. Where else can i really turn to? Only you have the keys to my soul and my redemption. Only you can save me from myself. Only you can guide me forward. Father, am lost without you. Take me back again. Cleanse me of all my unrighteousness. Bring me back to you.

Am not making any promises. I just want you to help me be the person You want me to be.

Thank you Lord!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Its all in my head

A few weeks back, i heard the Nelly song "over and over" and the lyric "its all in my head" sort of captured my state of mind. Over the last few weeks i have been engaged in what Joyce Meyer appropriately called the "Battlefield of the Mind". Ive been bombarded with and entertained negative thoughts. Ive let the devil get into my head and pollute it. Ive let him overwhelm me with his lies. Ive let him doubt my future and God's promises. I have fallen for his tricks and felt unworthy in God's presence. As i type these words now, am in the process of coming out of another of those spiritual lows that seem to last forever. Where you know God is with you, wanting the prodigal son back but for some strange reason cant seem to reach Him.

Father am here and ready to reach you again. Please take me back and lets continue from where we left off.

Easy peeps.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Searching for the Light

When "the dark side" takes over. When one seems to be stuck in some sort of rut. When there seems to be no escape no matter how much you crave for it or look for it. When you are confronted with the fragility and weakness of your own humanity. When you seem lost and empty and you dont know why? When you feel overwhelmed by the worlds problems? What do you do when the world seems like its caving around you? In the midst of the darkness, am searching for the torch light. But when i find it why do i want to turn it off again? Why do i want to stay in the dark even though i dont like it? Why am i fighting with the torch? Why cant i reach it and live it on?

Father i cant do this by myself. Please help me put on the light but more importantly, please help me leave it on. Shine your light into my darkness father and make me whole again.


Monday, May 26, 2008

Lost at Sea

Amidst the waves of sin and doubt
I try to speak to You but the words don't come out
As i wrestle with my guilt and shame
Still cant stop playing with You this game
I run and hide
But still the tide overwhelms me
I desire to swim back to the boat
But part of me still loves to drift afloat these murky waters
As danger lurks beneath
I strangely seem drawn to it
Father save my hide from the tide
Please let the sandy bank find me

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Going through the Motions

I haven't blogged in a while and strangely enough i had tonnes of stuff to write about. The last few months have been full of highs and lows. I enjoyed God's mercy and favour which i definitely did not deserve but ive been sort of drifting in my spiritual life lately. Feel away from God. Dont have the zeal i used to have seek Him. Not as thirsty as i used to be. Feel as if am just going through the motions. Like its a routine. Dont get moved at church anymore.Just feel like am missing a spark. Need a boost. A kick.

I suppose every xtian goes through a phase like this. A period when u feel u r drifting from God. And you feel distant from Him. The answer is simple. As i sit down here typing away, i can feel the answer screaming at me. "Just talk to Him. Let Him know how you feel". You know what? Am gonna do that now.

Easy peeps and nice to be back online.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Who is a Mature Xtian?

You know what. Sounds like a straight forward question right? But think about it for a sec? If someone asks you to define what it entails to be a mature xtian, what will you say?

We know its not perfection or an absolute state of sinlessness because we do not become perfect till we get to heaven. But we also know its definitely not worldly living. So, a mature xtian is somewhere between a saint and a sinner. But hold on. Isnt that like every xtain? So what does it mean to be a mature xtian. Is it just a numbers game? I sin less, pray more, meditate more so am more mature? Or is it something deeper than that?

Maybe its just a question of focus. I suppose focusing on one dimension (sin) is probably myopic. What about faith? Well i suppose its easier to have faith for external things outside your control that controlling what is inside you which really should be within your control. A sinless existence feels impossible. Like every xtian, i feel my members warring within me. My earthly vessel craves for things its knows it shouldnt do. It never relents. Its a 24hr operation to keep it in check. And if you slip up for a minute, it gets the better of you.

I suppose thats what it means. Spiritual maturity really is self-discipline. Your ability to master yourself, your thoughts, your desires and your actions despite provocation and temptation. The ability to build a impenetrable defense against the wiles of the enemy. To change your "default setting" from depravity to holiness. I have a long way to go. But hey suppose i can only take it one day at a time.

Father, i cant show you my works cos i can never merit your favour. But i can show you my heart. You know the intent of my heart which my actions betray. Have mercy on me Lord. Have mercy on me. Forgive me of my sins. Cleanse me of all unrighteousness. Restore me and put me back on track with you.

Thank you father for all you've done in my life. Please follow me on this walk every step of the way. Thanks father.

Friday, March 21, 2008

The Real Valentine's Day

Today is good Friday. The day the son of God laid down his life as an atonement for our sins. As a sinner this display of love is immense. How can someone love me so much to do such a thing. Little sinful me with all my flaws, weaknesses and proclivities. How can someone love me so much to keep wiping the slate clean urging me to strive on to perfection. No matter how hard i try, i just cant get round the magnitude of God's mercy and love for me.

This sort of display of affection is humbling.I mean it just has to be. When i take a good look at my life, i know i dont deserve half the things that happened to me. All the close shaves that i survived. The blessings i received. Given all the things ive done in return, i just dont merit that sort of favour. But father you found in somewhere in your heart to bless me all the same.

As we all celebrate the real Vals day, i wish everyone the best. May we never stray away from where God's love can reach us. And if we do, remember the parable of the prodigal son. He will always take you back.

Take care peeps

Monday, March 03, 2008

No Choices

“I have no other choice but to trust You
That’s all I can do
I have, no other choice but to believe”

This are the words of a song by Tye Trevitt. The choir sang this yesterday and I found it very timely. My last post smacked of confusion and frustration, but men at the end of the day. I have to take it just one day at a time. As the song says, I have no other choice but to trust You. He said He will never leave us or forsake us.

Thanks for your love father.

Guys have a great week ahead.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Numbing Growing Pains

Growing is a very painful process. When things don’t go the way you hoped or dreamed it’s very easy to start to doubt God. Doubt what He said about your future. Start to wonder if this is it. If this is the best God has in store for me. If my grandiose dreams will ever come to pass and if so how. I know this sounds stupid. Am supposed to keep on waiting on God which is 100% correct. But the pain of rejection, frustration and disappointment is hard. Worse still the pain of rejection and frustration can open the door to other things to help one “deal with them”.

Which leads me to my next set of questions:

At one’s lowest ebb, how do you resist the allure of instant gratification to numb the pain and forget the heart ache and hurt?

When the heat is on where do you run to get relief? Is it the solace of friendship, the comfort of a familiar habit or do you just internalise it inside?

When the gloomy clouds appear how do we notice they aren’t stationary but actually moving?

When you need an escape where do you run to? Hold on. What are you running from in the 1st place?

How do we learn from life’s experiences without getting scarred by them?

How do you keep remaining upbeat when you don’t seem to have a reason anymore?

What do you do when you don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel? When nothing good seems like its gonna happen?

I know this is a very pessimistic post but am just saying how I feel. Deep down in my heart I know God is there. Watching over me as I type this and wondering silly boy. If only He knew what I’ve got in store for Him.

Father I don’t mean to doubt you. Just wished you would let me know every once in a while that you are still there. Help me Lord to remember you as my refuge and continue to run to you.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Futility of Pride

There is a thin line between confidence and pride. Between pride and arrogance. Between pride and self-sufficiency. Between pride and selfishness. My theme for this year is "No Retreat, Total Surrender" and its already starting to feel like a life-time theme.

Pride and selfishness go hand in hand. Both are centered on self. Self-affirmation and self-gratification. No matter what i wish, my self dependency and constant falling tells me deep down somewhere in my heart i still dont believe God will take care of everything. I still want to do things myself. My way. Why? Because deep down somewhere i still dont believe. If i truly believed, why will i do things my way? Why wont i obey His commands? Why wont i let go and let God?

The more i look at myself, the more i see things i need to work on. The more i criticise others, the more i see myself in them. Looking inwards is tough and its a shame when you are disgusted with what you see.

I really want to be Christlike. But i have finally reached the point where i have to admit that patience is the only way to get there. The best part is God has given us His grace to get us there. After every mistake, we can wipe ourselves up and keep trying for the 1000th time. Nothing we do can be so bad to disqualify us from his love. I am amazed by how much God loves us.

Take care peeps

Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Goal Oriented Christian

I got the Max Lucado book "In The Grip of Grace" recently. It was a great read. It talks a lot about the abundance of God's love and mercy in spite of all our failings. But the most telling part of the book were the questions at the end. Ive listed the ones which hit me the most:

- Do you live in fear of never doing enough? Or do you live in gratitude that enough has been done?
- Do you do good deeds in order to be saved? Or do you do good deeds because you are saved?

These questions really hit a nerve. For the people who know me, i tend to have a goal oriented nature and always rushing somewhere trying to accomplish something. A friend of mine always describes me as "eager". I believe that you get what you work for. Reap what you sow. You have to put the effort if you want results. In summary, hard work is inevitable. You have to earn it. I applied this to the xtian life only to find out it doesnt work. Ive been acting like an insecure child trying to impress His daddy's in order to merit his love. I am constantly trying to prove to God how much i love Him, how much am growing. Am always trying either to work out my guilt or make me feel deserving of a blessing or merit some supernatural favour. As much as I hate to admit it, I been trying to be right with God by actions\works instead of faith. Which is weird because I never really thought of myself as a legalistic person let alone holy. But obviously part of me is.

The book says how actions are fruitless because no matter what we do, we can never make up for the ultimate sacrifice he made by sending his Son to die for us. God loves me just the way I am and is routing for me to become the person he wants me to be. I just have to be secure in this respect and spend more time thanking him for his grace and less time trying to earn it.

Have a great week peeps.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

No Retreat. Total Surrender

This is my 100th post on this blog. I cant believe it to be honest. Cant believe ive stuck to it for such a long period of time. There were many times when i literally had to force myself to post something, especially when i wasnt in a particularly good mood. I can only hope God continues to give me the grace to keep posting despite the changing seasons of life.

This is also my 1st post of 2008 and i thought an appropriate source of inspiration for this post will be Jean Claude Van Damme :)(yeah i know, i changed the words of the title). Above all else, this is my theme for 2008. No Retreat. Total Surrender. This theme arises partly as a result of reading "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. I've been so consumed with my goals, my aspirations, my needs that i have lost sight of God's purpose for my life. That i was created by God for his own pleasure and not for mine.

This was a deep revelation for me and an area i wish to rectify in my life. To totally surrender all of me to him. All i aspire to be. All i have. All i am. All i want. Going through that book (i recommend it for everyone) helps me point out the steps i need to take to live a purpose driven life. A selfless life centered on God. Not on my self.

But am under no illusions. I am fully aware of the battle for my soul which rages within me. I also understand the world i live in whose ways contradict all the principles to which i hold dear and would not want to compromise. I understand that there will be some heartbreak involved. I will make decisions which might be wrong or people will regard as foolish. I know i will do things that will cause people to doubt the faith to which i claim to follow. But despite this things. No matter what happens. What i wilfully do or not do. Father i do not intend to retreat from you this year but to run to you, lift up both my hands and surrender myself instead.

I intend to live by grace this year. Not solely focusing on asking for forgiveness yet again, but also learning to depend fully on Him and not on my intellect, my abilities or my supposed good actions.

I wish everyone a happy 2008. I have no idea how this year will pan out but i hope it will be a great one for us all.

Take care everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Strength Zone vs. Comfort Zone

One of the key themes of many self-development books is to focus on your strengths. Focus the majority of your time and effort further developing the areas you are good at (the strength zone) and less time in your areas of weaknesses. This seems to be conventional wisdom but I’ve got some issues with this line of thinking.

I think this perception of development is “linear” in orientation when maybe what is required is a more “tree-like” multi-faceted approach. The danger with solely focussing on your areas of strength is that it can result in you being stuck in your comfort zone focusing on areas where one feel’s secure and discourage venturing out and seeking new challenges outside your comfort zone. How are we so sure such areas of weakness cannot be transformed to areas of strength if we diligently apply ourselves to develop in those specific areas?

TD Jakes wrote that “if you are not moving forward then you are moving backwards”. I believe the focus should be on increasing the boundaries of one’s comfort zone as opposed to entrenching them. Even if we fail there is still a lesson to be learnt that would further increase one’s development. Better still, if we continually fail then we can truly say this branch is not for me, find a work-around against this particular area of weakness and start building a new one.

I suppose this raises other issues such as generalisation vs. specialisation. Breadth vs. depth. The answer to that seems more of a personal preference than anything else. But then again it depends on what dimensions we are using. If we view it in the context of the combination of our professional and personal lives it cant be such a bad thing now can it.

Anyhow, enough randomness for today.


Friday, December 14, 2007

Fighting Temptations

I’ve started reading “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. It’s a fascinating book and would recommend it anyone who hasn’t read it yet. What Rick Warren did is to have 40 chapters and the whole idea is you read and meditate on a chapter per day as you embark on a quest to find God’s purpose for your life. I’ve just done the 1st 2 chapters and they’ve been very revealing. The theme of the 1st chapter is that it’s not about you. Your life is not about you. Its about God. He created you for a reason. It’s not about what do I want but what does God want to do with me. The 2nd chapters talks about how God does not make any accidents and we were designed, warts and all, intentionally by God.

So how is this related to fighting temptations? Well, like most people I have issues I battle with. I’ve written about them on this blog for ages. Things about myself am not terribly happy about. But I have to see these things as a test and God allowed it to happen to me for a reason which fits into the bigger picture of His plan for me. Sounds familiar right. But unto the next question how do I pass the test and progress? I have spent a lot of time trying to find the answer to this question and it seems the more I think about it and read about it, the more insight I get.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflection in the context of the few chapters I’ve read so far and I have realized that my motives for seeking victory from my temptations are probably selfish. The question is this. Am I fighting temptation because of my love for God or so I can feel holy and pure? Is it primarily to feel good about myself as I don’t have to deal with guilt when I fall? So I can feel as if I have arrived as a spiritual warrior? Is it because I don’t want to be “disqualified” from his blessings by sinning? Is my reason for fighting temptation all about me or about Him?

If I am going to be honest then I would say its probably more about me than it is about Him. I don’t like the fact that am a sinner. I don’t like the fact that I don’t have control over myself and do things willfully which I don’t want to do. It frustrates the living daylights out of me to know I am weak and pathetic. I want to accomplish so much in my life and fear that my constantly falling is going to prevent God from blessing me so must be holy to ensure that doesn’t happen. But that got me thinking what if I didn’t have any issues? Can God trust me enough to still thirst for Him when I have no problems? When I seemingly don’t need Him?

So how do you show God you love him? By keeping his commandments yes but keeping His commandments for the right motives. Not for our own selves but for Him.

Ps 51: 17 says
“The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.”

My motives need to change. It’s not about what I can get out of my relationship with God, but what God can get out of His relationship with me.

Anyhow peeps gotta go.

Have a great weekend

Monday, December 03, 2007

The Experience to Me

The Experience 2007 was another awesome night. I just wished it went on for days on end. I can’t believe I have to wait another year for my next fix. Apart from the praise and worship side of it, which is just a surreal, the Experience to me shows why it’s important to dream big dreams. It is a celebration of “no limits” and “possibilities”. It shows that our perception of the boundaries of what is possible is where we individually decide to put them. For two years running we have had an all night gospel concert in the middle of Lagos Island near the xmas period, featuring the world’s leading gospel artists with attendance free. It takes seeing to believe it.

As a nation, it always disappointing when I meet prophets of doom who go on about how this country will forever be messed up. Stress the need to get out. How nothing good can come out of this country etc. Am sure everyone has met their fair share of people like this. While I don’t want to belittle the trials people have experienced in this nation and the scars this nation has inflicted on our souls, having a negative attitude was, is and forever will be pointless!!. The only thing a negative attitude is guaranteed to achieve is to ensure one remains stuck at the same level and is incapable of progress.

I had the opportunity of showing a friend around town over the weekend and it just stuck me how much Lagos has changed. How it is evolving right before our eyes. How the middle class in Nigeria is being awoken again. How we are starting have a small glimpse about the future prosperity this nation is capable of.

“Dream like a fool”

This is a common phrase uttered by both TD Jakes and Pastor Paul. We are the sum of our life experiences both positive and negative. They shape our thinking. They set our boundaries on our expectations of the future and dictate our actions in the present. It is critical to experience God and let Him remove the trauma’s life’s experiences have poured on us. To help us keep believing in our dreams and help us order our steps to achieve them.

“The Experience” shows us what is possible in our lives if we depend on God. If we let Him determine what is possible in our lives, instead of depending on ourselves or what people tell us.

Father, give me the ability to dream not just big dreams but God dreams. Help me Father not to limit you or doubt you but instead to listen intently to what you have in store for me. Help me Lord to remove all the scars of this daily life and refocus myself and goals on what you have told me my life will become. Give me encouragement in the times I am discouraged by current realities that my dreams will never become reality. Order my steps father so I don’t get consumed by what I want to be, but instead what you want me to be.

Alright peeps, I will catch you all later.

Friday, November 23, 2007

I Want an Okada

No, I haven’t gone mad. But am entertaining the thought. Well not a “cheng – cheng” okada and not one of those speed bikes but a moped. Why? Because they are convenient. Today after my car decided to overheat for like the 10th time this month, I had to park it on the way to work, and hitch an okada to VI from Lekki. Why? Well I was late for work. I was not going to get a cab in the traffic. And if I entered the traffic it would take me another hour to get to work. So I thought sod it, I will get on an okada Now this is not the first time I used an Okada. But I’ve always restricted our previous dalliances to residential areas where the chances of being mauled down by a psychotic driver are as slim as they can get in Lagos. Anyway, so up I jumped on the okada and off to VI I went. And you know what, the journey just flew by. It didn’t even take up to 10 mins and that got me thinking, maybe this motorcycle thing ain’t such a bad idea.

Ok. Yes I know the dangers. Its fine (well as good as it can get) driving a motor cycle in Lagos when there is traffic and people aren’t speeding as if their lives depended on it. But what happens when the roads are free, at night when the street lights are not working and its pouring with rain. Hmmmmmm!!!!!!! The voice of reason. But I do like the idea of be on a moped waving at people as I breeze past the traffic.

You know what maybe I want the wrong thing. Maybe I should work towards getting a helicopter instead 

Happy Friday people.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Super Mario Christians

I was doing some reflection over the weekend and strangely found a link between the Nintendo game "Super Mario Bros" and christianity. Please dont laugh :)

Ok here i go. The thing about Super Mario was that the game had many levels. At the end of each level, after you have fended off the routine baddies and escaped the different traps, there was an evil boss. To move up to the next level you had to defeat the evil boss for that level. Your ability to move up levels and finish the game requires not just your skillfulness but also perseverance when you seem stuck on one level to keep on playing the game and not give up.

You also get items that help you win the game e.g. the star that makes you invisible or the mushroom that makes you bigger. Ok, so where am i going with this. The Christian walk is exactly similar. The word of God and prayer are our "stars" and "mushrooms" which we use to navigate the storms of life. To reach the higher levels of God's plans for our lives will require us utilising this power to conquer the bigger challenges and trials that come will our way.

Men this is so fluffy even by my standards but hopefully gets the point across.

Take care peeps

Thursday, November 15, 2007

You Rang My Lord

Am thinking of becoming a butler. Well, not in the conventional sense. I stumbled on this verse which hopefully will explain things better:

LUKE 9:24
24 For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake, he will save it.

I said I wanted “God control” in my last post. But what does that entail? How can I make myself subservient? How can I lose my life for His sake? I suppose it’s about being willing to sacrifice my personal comfort for Him. Spend time with Him even though am tired or busy. Read my bible with a torch even when NEPA strikes yet again. Figure out ways of helping His ministry on earth even though it would significantly affect my free time and finances.

I also need to ask for his guidance in everything I do. When am confronted with choices, requests and decisions I should ask “God, what do you want me to do?”

It also seems like for me to lose myself to God; I will have to lose myself to people. God is love and I need to radiate that love. The love which he has showered on me needs to also flow out through me. I need to create that mentality of living for God. Letting him lead during the day in my dealings with people and situations I face.

The only issue I struggle with about being a servant is the scope for being treated, well like a servant. If you always turn the other cheek for people, how do you stop them from taking advantage of you? Of taking you for granted. Is it a pride thing, is it a fear of being hurt or is it running away from an area of vulnerability? Well maybe a bit of everything.

Is it an area I will have to work on? Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its just another journey I need to take in my quest to become the person God wants me to be.

Anyhow folks easy.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Death to Self

A few friends of mine have given me some feedback which i really appreciate. While i would like to think of myself as being very focussed there is also a huge tendency to be self-orientated. Always thinking of one's self, one's career, one's goals and relegating everyone and everything else to the background. After reflecting on this, i believe this is an area i need to work on. The world is a lot bigger than "Garageboy" and doesnt revolve around me. There a few "self areas" i need to deal with including:

Strangely enough i don't need self-control, i need God control. The whole idea of me relying on my willpower to master my emotions and fight temptations is exactly the reason why i fail repeatedly. I need to surrender all my efforts to God and let him come into my life and take control.

I need not only to help others when they come to meet me but instead be proactive and help people who are in need. I shouldnt get so preoccupied with my own goals that i dont have time for other people. Need to be more disposed to actively helping other people achieve their own goals as well.

Self -centered
In my quest to attain my goals i should not loose sight of the bigger picture of life. Its not all about me and my scary goal-oriented behaviour. There are actually other people on this planet apart from me and maybe i should spend more time trying to meet them. :)

Well i suppose i just need to keep working on myself and carry a "Help Available if needed" sign on my back to get the message across :)

Anyhow peeps easy!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

One step at a time

I suppose it is only human to expect complex solutions to complex problems. Ive been doing a lot of reflection recently about various aspects of my life. Trying to glimpse into my future. Trying to figure out God's plan for me. But you know what? You only figure out that God reveals his plan for your life one day at a time. There is always a danger that while looking forward to the future, you forget about the present. Dreams are sweet but reality bites. Just have to take everything one step at a time. One day at a time. He has sorted everything out. Need to stop trying to control everything and leave it to Him instead. Need to have faith that God is in control and knows whats best for me. All i need to do is to stay close to Him and let him guide me.

Its so funny that a complex problem has such a simple solution. Or does the simple solution show it actually isnt such a big problem in the first place. Puts it into perspective i suppose.

Anyhow folks easy.

Garageboy at the Great IFE

I went to OAU a few weeks back. Apart from the air being so clean that as a Lagosian your lungs struggle to process the pure oxygen free from carbon monoxide, there were a few things that caught my attention.

- The size of the place. Wow it was HUGE!!!!!!!!!
- The amount of church activities going on. Apparently there are over 70 different church fellowships
- The students who i met

Its the final point that struck me the most. People are constantly whining about the state of our education system in this country but i met some fantastic people who will hold their own with any student anywhere in the world. I was particularly impressed by their ability to run and organise events independently. Was really blown away especially as i spent my universities days in "other activities".

Then that got me thinking. What exactly constitutes a "good education"? What really is the purpose of university? What changes do we expect in the individual from the day they join to the day they graduate? To be honest, in my opinion the whole concept of university should be less about equipping you with knowledge but more concerned with developing you with the skills you will need in the "real world'. Knowledge can always be acquired. Attitude and drive not so. And thats what makes you succeed outside. Nobody wants a straight A's efiko who cant relate to other people, lead a team or be remotely organised. Don't get me wrong, am not saying academics are not important. But they are just one part of the whole university experience. The whole idea should be to develop well rounded balanced individuals. Any skew to any particular extreme is just as bad as the other.

But i was also surprised by how people with such a bright future where oblivious to what lies ahead for them. This is probably the best time to a Nigerian graduate for a decade. Does that mean its gonna be a bed of roses. No. But it does mean the rose bush has less thorns. The are more opportunities in this country now than for a very very long time.

Anyhow it was great to go to IFE. To see the original vision that was laid there. Visionary leadership once lived in this country and who says it cannot rise up again.

Anyhow folks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Easy!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

True Peace

I read about this in my devotional today and was so insightful I thought it would be a good idea to share. Peace is not the absence of storms and trouble. Peace is the ability to be calm during periods of storms and trials. This text hit me because it speaks right into my heart. Many times in life when problems and storms coming into our lives we long for the time when the storm passes and we can have peace again. But really that peace is only temporary and will only result in us living on an emotional rollercoaster when the storms reappear as they are guaranteed to do. True peace is enjoying God’s calmness despite the absence or presence of storms.

The one of thing ive noticed in this my short walk on this earth is that life is full of challenges. And they just get bigger and bigger and bigger. To be honest I have no idea how people can cope through the storms of life without God. Absolutely no clue. Am just glad I found him in time to help me remove the scars of past battles so they don’t prevent me from soaring into my future.

Heavenly father, I am in need of your peace. Help me Lord to keep my head during storms. Father it aint easy but please remind me to reach for you in my time of need. Cos at the end of the day you really are my peace.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Garageboy in the Middle - Not Anymore

A wrote this passage below last weekend but didnt get a chance to post it earlier. A friend of mine decided to take some time out to pray and fast with me and i feel a lot better now. Thanks men. I cant seem to relate to this passage anymore but i think i should post it cos it might touch or help some1 else:

Garageboy in the Middle

I feel stuck in the middle. I have decided to embark this xtian walk and so cannot go back to the way I once lived. Yet my constant falling makes me feel too much of a hypocrite to confidently call myself a xtian. I feel like am stuck between a rock and a hard place. A life I can’t go back to and a life I can’t seem to reach

Despite this, I know which way I want to go. I know I don’t want to go back. That life was filled with temporary highs and an ever present feeling of emptiness. And I know I don’t want to stay half way because it’s full of frustration. I can see the promised land. I can even smell the milk and honey. But I always keep on taking one step forward and three steps back. It drives me nuts. It’s difficult not wanting to be too hard on oneself that one starts to feel unworthy and being too easy on yourself so as not to be motivated to make progress.

Maybe I am being too hard on myself. There’s possibly an element of truth in this. But that’s because I desire Christ-likeness so badly. Is it a journey of a lifetime? Hmmm. I really hope not. I don’t want to be here forever until my dying day. I want to walk with God on this earth. To be with Him every waking moment of everyday. But hold on. Can’t I walk with Him to get me there?

After a long period of prayer and meditation, the message God was trying to teach me was faith. These two verses come to mind

Mark 11
22 And Jesus answered them, "Have faith in God.
23 Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.
24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against any one; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."

13 Be watchful, stand firm in your faith, be courageous, be strong.

I need to have faith in God that i have overcome all the challenges i face. Thanks for being a great friend men and taking time out for me.

Thank you father for your love for me.

Its Friday guys. Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Heavenly Pleasures

How do you derive pleasure from your relationship with God?

Earthly pleasures are in the flesh. They are instantly gratifying. Be it eating an extra hot Nandos half-chicken with peri-peri chips, indulging in certain "refreshments" after a hard day's work or engaging in other "extra-curricular activities".

Heavenly pleasures are in the soul. They are not necessarily instant. In order to enjoy heavenly pleasures and resist the allures of earthly pleasures will require self-control and patience. Self-control to resist the call for instant gratification. Patience to wait on God and enjoy his presence.

Hmmm. Patience and Self-control. Two very difficult things to master. But both that require the relinquishment of one’s will. Reminds me of the song below:

“Take my heart and mould it
Take my mind, transform it
Take my will, conform it
To yours, To yours O Lord”

I need to desire heavenly pleasures with the same zeal (if not more) I do earthly ones. More importantly, I need to pray for patience and self-control. I believe this is something God has been impressing on me for a while now and it is time I start to take it very seriously.

Father, help me seek heavenly pleasures at all times especially in my lows and resist the allure of earthly pleasures which despite their attractiveness will never fill that emptiness and void which only You can.

On a side note. Tomorrow is Friday men. Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

We will never deserve it

"All our righteousness is like filthy rags"

Ive come to the realisation that God doesn't bless us because we deserve it. God's decision to bless us is based on His love for us and our faith in Him. The notion that God's decision to bless us being a sum total of points we accumulated by being good is untrue. We do not and never will merit God's blessing by our works. Our righteousness has been described as "filty rags". God's favour on our lives is living proof of our relationship with Him. If we walk with God, we should expect to be blessed. His favour will follow us. So the most important thing is to seek God. To be in close fellowship with Him.

Does that mean we can do whatever we want and still be blessed? NO!!!!!!!! But when you are in a close relationship with God, you really want to obey Him. You long after Him and want to keep His commandments. You don't want to let Him down.

I suppose its all about having your heart in the right place.

Ok peeps. Have a great week.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Most High Place

"Down at your feet O Lord is the most high place"

During yesterday's mid-week service, this song was sang during praise worship and it was moving. Its surprising how its in the low points of our lives, in our brokenness and hopelessness that we appreciate the presence of God the most and He can have the most impact in us. Its in the cases when we submit to His authority, that He takes authority over our lives. When we look for Him,that He looks after us.

"Down at your feet O Lord is the most high place"

It's in our lows that we enjoy our highs in our relationship with God. When we experience his forgiveness in moments after losing our way. When He comes through for us when everything else fails.In a world where we under pressure to be dominant. To be on top. To be running things. Isn't it amazing how submissiveness wins the day?

Anyway that was just a random thought.


A Man After God’s Heart

I recently finished reading a book my mother got me on the life of David and what a fantastic read it was. There is so much to learn from his life. It shows how God can pluck one out of a position of obscurity to one of prominence. How he protects us during trying times. How he punishes us for our sins and gives us the grace to bear the consequences of our actions. But the amazing part of it all is despite all David’s shortcomings and sins, including murder and adultery, he was still considered “A man after God’s heart”. And why? Because David loved God. Had a deep relationship with Him. He heard from God and did what God wanted him to do. Whenever he erred he went running back to Him. For forgiveness. For cleansing. For restoration.

The life of David shows there is still hope for us all. We can fulfill our divinely ordained destinies in our lives despite our flaws and shortcomings. We just have to remain close to God. I now understand why the older generation keep on harping on about this. They’ve seen it all and know its importance. Throughout the storms of life, caused by our own actions or not, we need Him to see us through.

Thanks mum for getting me the book. Sorry it took me forever to read it :)

To everyone else, its almost the weekend. YIPPEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, August 10, 2007

He Knows Your Number

NEVER EVER UNDERESTIMATE THE DEVIL. He is a powerful adversary. He knows your number. He knows your weakness. He knows what makes you tick and he will willingly exploit it for his own ends. To be honest am amazed at his ability to enter my head and pollute my thoughts. Play to my weaknesses and challenges i face. Forcing me to believe the lies he is telling me. Damn his good. He is so sly. And you know what, if you don’t snap out of it quickly you fall for this cheap trick.

There was a time when I didn’t really believe the devil existed. That it was a whole lot of hogwash. But men. I believe it big time. Anytime I start making progress in my spiritual life, the guy comes back again. Telling me the same lies he always has. Trying to get me to belittle or doubt my relationship with God. Trying to make me yield to the desires of my flesh. But the devil is a liar. You might be powerful. More powerful than me. But less powerful than the God that loves me and protects me.

I need to understand the devil is never going to be happy with me making progress in my spiritual life and it is guaranteed that he will try and frustrate it. But i have a supreme weapon in my arsenal to defeat all his wiles. It is the grace and mercy of God. It must hurt the devil to know that i have someone who loves me, ready to pick me up when i fall. That will never lose faith in me. Thats willing me on to victory. My greatest weapon is God's love for me. It truly is great. After i dust myself up, and go to Him to wash myself clean, i feel cleansed. Ready to go to battle again.

Father i know you love me and mercy and grace abounds. But father i need to keep it in balance. Dont let me take your love for me for granted. Keep me close to you in Jesus name.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Extracts from Ps 119

I stumbled on this verse below while doing my devotion this morning. Hope it speaks to someone as well.

9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to thy word.
10 With my whole heart I seek thee; let me not wander from thy commandments!
11 I have laid up thy word in my heart, that I might not sin against thee.
12 Blessed be thou, O LORD; teach me thy statutes!
13 With my lips I declare all the ordinances of thy mouth.
14 In the way of thy testimonies I delight as much as in all riches.
15 I will meditate on thy precepts, and fix my eyes on thy ways.
16 I will delight in thy statutes; I will not forget thy word.
17 Deal bountifully with thy servant, that I may live and observe thy word.
18 Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law.
19 I am a sojourner on earth; hide not thy commandments from me!
20 My soul is consumed with longing for thy ordinances at all times.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Wise Words from Hoobastank

“Am not a perfect person, there many things I wish I didn’t do
But I continue learning, I never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go, that i just want you to know
i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you”

This is the first stanza from the Hoobastank song “The Reason”. I heard this song on Rick Dees a few weeks back. It had been ages since the last time I heard it and this time I interpreted the lyrics in a completely different way.

Am working on my relationship with God again and apart from a few blips here and there, it is slowly getting back on track. The solution was simple. Just spend more time with Him. The more time you spend with Him, the closer you feel to him. Sounds funny cos that is kinda obvious. The answer kept on staring me in the face and I just refused to see it. Yeah and whenever you are going through a spiritual low, whatever you do make sure you go to church. Neva mess with that one. If you aint gonna spend time with God in private, that’s one of the last ways He can reach you. Through his word booming from the pulpit.

“Am not a perfect person, there many things I wish I didn’t do”
We should never let the devil use guilt to make us feel too filthy to approach God’s presence with boldness. Yes am not perfect. Yes I do things I shouldn’t do. But Yes God loves me all the same and wants to make me the person he desires me to become.

“But I continue learning, I never meant to do those things to you”

After every fall, failure or defeat, ask for forgiveness and move on. I need to stop dwelling on my failings. It’s just a waste of time. I should just get up, dust myself up, ask for forgiveness and move on.

“I've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be a reason to start over new, and the reason is you”

Am happy I found you Heavenly Father. Am happy you picked me up from my decay and are moulding me into the person you want me to be. Continue to protect me from the wiles of the enemy. Guide me to the promise land which you have set for me.

So what is the reason? The reason is God is love. I can be secure in my relationship with Him because unlike human love it is unconditional. Father let me appreciate You for who You are. And anytime I start playing up, please yank me back to you.

Happy Monday peeps.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Reconnecting the Line

The spiritual line between God and I has been silent for a while. In church yesterday, it just hit me that I hadn’t heard from him for a while. That would explain a lot of things. I haven’t had that same level of clarity I usually enjoy when am with Him. Ive been feeling lost, confused and sad for no apparent reason. Like am lost at sea with waves battering me on every side..

That’s cos I stopped using my compass in navigating through the storms of life. I really depend on God without knowing it. When he is not around I feel it. I really am nothing without Him.

But you see I know that. So when I undergo all these periods of low spirituality, I often just think, yeah yeah, this moment will pass and my relationship with God will just get back on track. But before you know it, you start drifting away and getting farther and farther away from Him. And you know what, the farther you are away, the harder it is to get back. This is especially hard when you know God’s plans for you and you believe them. You get burdened with the guilt that you are gonna screw everything up which if the truth be told is a very clear and present danger.

I know God’s love is unquestionable and immense but how does he keep on finding it in his heart to keep taking me back. If this was a human relationship I would have been dumped a million years ago. I keep getting up and falling down. Getting up and falling down. All the time hoping I avoid God’s punishment and don’t screw up my destiny. Is this really what the rest of my life is going to be. Really?

Heavenly Father I would rather not go through this whole charade with you and just wished I was a dutiful, good, sinless xtain lad. I really wish I was. Am sorry for all the mistakes I continually make. I wish I could promise you I wont repeat them but am just a worthless sinner in need of your grace. I thank you lord for all the things you’ve done in my life. I thank you Lord for all the things you are yet to do. Please Lord I ask you to step in and save me from myself. Don’t let me pollute the blessings you have in store for me. Keep me at peace with you. Help me get back to you. Don’t let me ever leave.

Please give me a dial tone.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Driven vs Workaholic

Yeah i know this sounds overtly dramatic but i stumbled on this website which i thought was great. It gave some indications of how you can know if you are a workaholic. Excerpts include:

We operate out of the mini-crisis mode, using this as an escape from experiencing our true emotions.

We have an obsessive desire to understand everything in our lives, including our every emotion. We cannot allow ourselves to experience emotions that we do not understand, fearing our loss of control.

We judge ourselves by our accomplishments and hence have the illusion that we must always be in the process of accomplishing something worthwhile in order to feel good about ourselves.

Instead of being a haven, our home is an extension of our workplace. Our family and friends often arrange their time with us around our work, vainly hoping we will finish it and then can be with them.

We tend to be over-serious and responsible. All activity must be purposeful. We find it hard to relax and just be; we feel guilty and restless when not working. Because we often work at our play, we rarely experience re-creation and renewal. We neglect our sense of humor and rarely enjoy the healing power of laughter.

Waiting is hard for us. We are more interested in results than process, in quantity than quality. Our impatience often distorts our work by not allowing it proper timing.

I singled out these particular ones cos i think they relate to me. But can someone be driven and not be a workaholic. Is being a goal-oriented person such a bad thing? Any thoughts on this would be great.

I take the general point that i just need to relax and know how to shutdown. I suppose the question is do you "live to work" or "work to live"?


Anyhow folks easy

Holidaying on the Precipice

A book i read a while back wondered why xtains like to play around the boundaries of sin instead of fleeing from it at the 1st sign of temptation. Why do we entertain such thoughts and eventually fall. Since i started writing this blog, ive been stuck in that circle of sin - guilt - forgiveness. sin - guilt - forgiveness. sin - guilt - forgiveness. sin - guilt - forgiveness.

But i am sick and tired of being stuck in this cycle. I recently went on holiday and thought the time to breathe would be good for me to meditate and reflect on my relationship with God. Did i do any of it? No!!!! I didnt even read my bible. And this happens every time i go on Holiday.

It really is hard being holy holy holy all year round. Really really difficult. It is as if as a human being my default position is depravity and its a conscious effort to keep ones carnal nature at bay. I spose the answer is to let the Holy Ghost come in to sort it all out, but men, ive been grieving him for so long. Am tired of letting him down and not sure i should do so again for the umpteenth time.

I know am playing a dangerous game but what can i do. Ive been holidaying at the precipice long before i went on holiday. Ive been holidaying on the precipice for the most part of my life. But its a long way to fall down Lord. And despite my mistakes, i dont wanna fall. At the back of my mind i know you are the only one who can save me. Who can fix me. Who can make me whole. Help me Lord to figure this out and believe you.

Monday, July 09, 2007


I used to struggle with asking for God’s forgiveness for my sins. I used to (and sometimes still) overburdened with guilt and shame and will instead try to runaway from God instead (as if that were possible). But am starting to realise the power of redemption. I can’t really explain it. But when i ask forgiveness for my sins, I feel unburdened. Like a weight has been lifted off me and I feel a renewed passion to continue to strive for perfection. The fact someone somewhere loves me so much he would forgive me of actions and wipe the slate clean as if nothing ever happened just because of his love for me is amazing. How can I not be overwhelmed by such a declaration of love. How can I not be encouraged to keep striving? To keep pushing? To keep getting up.

The stumbling block I encountered for all this time was that I never really believed I had been forgiven and was still waiting for some divine punishment somewhere. But God said we should come into His presence with boldness and not with fear.

Father I sincerely wish I was devoid of sin and don’t have to continually keep asking for your forgiveness. Unfortunately, am still on this journey to become the person you called me to be. Father let your grace and mercy continually follow me Lord and keep me in your loving arms.

Thank you Lord.

Strengths and Weaknesses

In my quest for spiritual development and maturity. I’ve noticed I spend a lot of my time focussing on my weaknesses. Areas for improvement etc. I believe this is necessary, so I don’t get ahead of myself and quit striving for perfection. But this its also dangerous because you lose sight of all the progress you have made.

When my weakness gets the better of me, especially when it is a recurring one, there is a temptation to be hard on oneself and assume there has been no progress. To be honest, I spend so much time being my own worst critic that I struggle to actually think of any of my supposed strengths.

If I had to mention one of my strengths, I would say it is that am still here. Despite my flaws and numerous falls, I still haven’t given up and you know what that might not be as insignificant as I think it is.

Anyhow peeps. Take care.

Taking Out the Trash

Am currently in one of those moods where my mind has been wandering. Seriously wandering. I’ve been entertaining thoughts which I shouldn’t be and letting those thoughts fester and take root. It’s time to take out the trash. I need to cleanse my mind and fill it with pure thoughts once again. It’s weird how it’s easier to dwell on things not of the spirit than those which are. How it is easier, sometimes even enjoyable to think negative thoughts than positive ones. And you know what? The more you dwell on them, the more they appear to be real and then you feel burdened by things which are not important or even imagined.

It really is time to take out the trash. It is time for me to let the Holy Spirit come in with His broom and give my mind a good sweep. It’s a difficult struggle to control ones thoughts. But its important cos our thoughts enable our actions. I suppose saturating my mind with heavenly thoughts is the answer. But its difficult. After a while you get tired of being holy, of always doing the right think or always wanting to do the right thing. The flesh gets bored and starts bugging you. And once the flesh gets reconnected with the brain, you are TOAST

So really, the issue is not what I do but what I think. I should stop focusing on my actions and start focussing on my thoughts. But I need to keep reminding myself to stop treating my spiritual life like a career goal but instead depend on the Holy Spirit to see me through.


Saturday, June 16, 2007

Misplaced Priorities

My career objectives and goals are very important to me. My desire for personal and professional development is immense. But there is always a danger of putting my own goals, career or otherwise, ahead of my relationship with God.

My relationship with God should be the gauge of my success. He is the source of everything. I need to keep my gaze on Him so He leads me as opposed to my own myopic goals. It is only through Him that i can achieve all my other goals anyway. Only with the Holy Spirit guiding me will i be able to make the right decisions and do the right things at the right time.

Father, don't let me ever forget you are the source of everything i am and will eventually be. Help me keep my focus and perspective on you and you alone. Help me Lord to search for you in my hour of need.

Thank you for having mercy on this foolish young man and let your presence never depart from me.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Romans 6

1 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound?
2 By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?
3 Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?
4 We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.
5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.
6 We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the sinful body might be destroyed, and we might no longer be enslaved to sin.
7 For he who has died is freed from sin.
8 But if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him.
9 For we know that Christ being raised from the dead will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.
10 The death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.
11 So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.
12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions.
13 Do not yield your members to sin as instruments of wickedness, but yield yourselves to God as men who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments of righteousness.
14 For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.
15 What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means!
16 Do you not know that if you yield yourselves to any one as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?
17 But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed,
18 and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.
19 I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once yielded your members to impurity and to greater and greater iniquity, so now yield your members to righteousness for sanctification.
20 When you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness.
21 But then what return did you get from the things of which you are now ashamed? The end of those things is death.
22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the return you get is sanctification and its end, eternal life.
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Power of Forgiveness

When we ask for God's forgiveness in our lives for the things we willingly and knowingly do despite the blessings He showers on our lives, its a greatly humbling experience. Not only does it tell us about the greatness of God, but also the littleness of men. It takes a lot to forgive people that have wronged you especially when you feel it is not justified. But if God can forgive me for all i have done and continually do, then who am i to withhold that from someone else. I need to learn to be mature, patient and humble in order to forgive people.

Everything happens for a reason. I think this is a lesson God is trying to teach me right now.

Learn to forgive Garageboy. Learn to forgive.

Easy peeps.

Friday, May 25, 2007

No Accidents

God does not make mistakes. He does not do accidents. But he allows things to happen to us for a reason. When situations arise, in the heat of the moment, we seem to forget to ask God what he is trying to tell us.

In order to see what God is trying to tell us in any situation involves us not only spending time with Him but also stepping out of the situation so we can look at it from a vantage point. From both a spiritual and objective point.

But while waiting for God to reveal his purpose in our life, he gives us peace to bear the situation. I long for God's peace to calm the storms. I rest on his promise to take care of me. I know he only wants the best for me and will always give me a point of escape.

Help me father to see your will. To see what you are seeing in my circumstances. Thank you Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Human Needs & Spiritual Solutions

I mentioned earlier on this in this blog about a book i read which mentioned the different types of human needs and how are issues/trials/besetting sins can be traced to satisfying these needs in our relationship with God:
- the need to be loved
- the need to be respected and accepted
- the need to be significant/successful

I also mentioned, we should focus on the underlying need we are trying to resolve and not the acts in which they manifest themselves in.

While i've made progress on this issue there is still a recurring theme which keeps coming up. Stop trying to fulfill "HUMAN NEEDS IN A HUMAN WAY". We are to fulfill "HUMAN NEEDS IN A SPIRITUAL WAY".

The fact this is counter-intuitive is exactly the point. We are not supposed to understand. It's not algebra. It is FAITH. Keep the Holy Spirit close to you and let him fill you.

To stop thinking like a human being requires paradigm shifts. You end up doing things that people look at you as if you are crazy and you don't particularly understand yourself.

Taking it to the spiritual level is difficult. The devil will always want to remind you whenever you fall that you are too filthy to come to God's presence. Discourage you that you are not making any progress. But the devil is a liar. God's wants us to be close to him. We should never let anyone ever tell us that we are unworthy to come into his presence because there is no such thing.


Anyhow folks gotta go.


Thursday, May 17, 2007

Prayer for Help

Heavenly Father. I know i need You. I know You are the only one that can save my soul. But i don't know why i have difficulty reaching for You in my time of need. I don't know why i have an aversion for doing the right thing. Even though i know you are the only one that can help me. Who can save me from myself.

Father. Please don't give up on me. Though my actions might suggest otherwise. Deep down in my heart, i long for you. Give me strength to withstand the wiles of the enemy. I love you Lord. I want to grow in my relationship with you. Please don't let me take for granted all you have done for me. Father, please give me the grace to live the way you want me to. Touch my heart. Let your Holy Spirit rest on me. Tune my ear and my heart to listen to it and respond accordingly.

Father never depart from me. Keep me safe. Keep in your wings. I am nothing without you.

Thank you Lord..

Monday, May 14, 2007

Hide and Seek

"Hide and Seek" is a game played by children and as i play this game a lot with God i can say with certainty that i am still A SPIRITUAL BABY. While i am not proud of this tag and wish i had made more progress in this walk, i have to accept that am still learning the ropes on this spiritual journey. Still fumbling and stumbling like a baby learning how to walk.

Ive been playing hide and seek with God. Hiding from Him when i don't feel particularly up to it and seeking him when i start to miss Him. When i start to feel empty. When i start to feel alone. When i talk about the progress i made in this xtian walk, its that. I now have a longing for God. When i've not spent time with him for a few days i start to miss him. I keep coming back to my 1st love.

But you know what? There is nothing wrong with being a spiritual baby. Its just a phase one goes through in our walk with God. There is always a tendency of forgetting the good things you are doing and the progress you have made when you keep focusing on your faults. Which is what the devil wants us to do. Reminding us of our failings and how we are unworthy to come into the presence of the Holy One. But we all know he is a liar.

Love is a powerful thing. It allows you to open up and free yourself from yourself. Experiencing God's love in my life despite my erring ways has been (and still is) a refreshing experience. I only hope i can spread this love to all those around me.

Anyhow. Take care people and have a great week ahead.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Lessons Learnt

I read in a devotion today the link between the trials we face and the lesson God is trying to teach us. Basically trials happen for a reason. We overcome trials when we identify what lesson God is trying to teach us. That's fascinating!!! The long running theme in all trials that we face is that God will see us through them. So i suppose FAITH and DEPENDENCE on God is the most useful lesson that is critical to this Xtian walk.

So where does obedience to his WORD come in? How do we know when God is trying to us stop doing certain things in our lives? To forgive someone that's wronged us? etc. To be honest, all the questions seem to stem from the most important one. FAITH AND DEPENDENCE!!!!!!!!!!. Once you got that sorted. Youve got it made.

Like all human beings i acknowledge i have faults. Sometimes it seems i can never change them. But i know thats not the way God wants me to be no matter how hard it seems to change. I must persevere depsite all thats around me, my faults and mistakes and be bold to say:

FATHER, despite my faults and weaknesses, i am still not afraid or guilty or ashamed to come into your presence and ask You to make me what You want me to be. To continually cleanse me of my unrighteousness and unbelief. I do not excuse my actions but i know its only you that can make me the person you want me to be. Help me not to treat this as some project i need to accomplish. Or some time based objective i need to achieve. Just grow on me and make me whole.

Thank you for your favour. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your mercy.


Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Spiderman the Xtian

I watched Spiderman 3 last week which was quite good to be honest. But i couldn't help noticing strong Xtian themes in the movie. The inner battle between our good and carnal nature, forgiveness, redemption and the foolishness of pride.

Spiderman was going through what most Xtians go through especially as the power of God starts to move in our lives. The tendency to get cocky and believing your own hype is high. The wiles of the devil increases and we need to constantly grow spiritually to counter his plans to displace us from where God is sending us.

Whether this was intentional or not i have no idea. But it was quite interesting to notice nonetheless.

This was a short post i know.

Anyhow take care folks

Thursday, May 03, 2007

I Believe i Can FLY

My last few posts have been quite pessimistic. I supppose i was just going through a spiritual low or reacting to all the pressures around me. Am in a better place now so can explain it all a bit better.

Ive found out that the reason I dont obey God or run to Him to help me deal with the pressures in my life is because, despite the fact i want to, there is still a part of me which does not believe He will see me through.

If i did truly believe God can deliver me from all manner of temptations, pressures and problems, why will i let them get to me? If i really believed that all things will work out for my good, why do i still spend all my energy worrying? Trying to do things on my own without His help.

I need to increase my faith and have confidence that God has my back, regardless of any circumstance i face and He will see me through. I need to believe i can fly!! Soar to greater heights in my relationship with Him, my dependency on Him and in my sprirtuality.

"Less of me. More of Him."
- I also need to inscribe this on my forehead :)

Anyhow folks gosta go.


Friday, March 30, 2007

An Incovenient Marriage

Ayokunle always knew this marriage was never going to work. Ayo and Kunle could never get on. They both wanted different things in life. Viewed life with different lenses. Kunle wants to live to the fullest. Ayo wants to play it straight. Ayo wants to act the way Kunle feels. Kunle wants to act the way Ayo thinks.

Its amazing how two people who cannot stand each other can live in the same house. Share the same facilities. Eat from the same table. Use the different areas of the house at different times for different things.

But Ayokunle had no hand in the matter. The nuptial bonds between Ayo and Kunle were tied by grand design. Just knew the marriage had to work. Divorce was not possible. But this could never be a marriage of equals. One person had to be dominant and the other submissive. But who and why?

The fate of these three persons, Ayokunle, Ayo and Kunle, are intrinsically linked. The death of one is the death of all. Or is it?

How can Ayokunle let Ayo reign and keep restless Kunle under wraps?

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Spiritual Sickness

Whenever we think of Jehovah-Rapha, the God that Heals, we always seem to equate that healing with the physical healing i.e. blindness, handicap as contained in the bible. But what about healing from spiritual sickness.

Sickness is defined as the impairment of normal physiological function affecting part or all of an organism. Whenever my physical body gets sick, i go to the doctor, get some drugs and after a few days am right as rain. Sometimes, the sickness can be prevented by living healthily, but at times it is also caused by unforeseen circumstances. It just happens. But is spiritual sickness the same. Is it possible to live a healthy spiritual life, read your bible, spend time with God and still fall spiritually sick.

But what is spiritual sickness? Hmm. I reckon its not being right with God. Not living the life he intends for you. Not being close to him. And the symptom. SIN. The presence of sin is that sign that all is not well with ones spritual life. I suppose i recieve my healing from spritual sickness in repentance and belief that i will be well again. Luke 17:19 says

"Get up, and go your way. Your faith has healed you."

But is it unrealistic to expect to never be spiritually sick. Do we just trod along and when we fall just say sorry i cant help myself and move on? How do we stop being indulgent? How do you differentiate between spiritual sickness resulting from an unhealthy spiritual life and one that just happens. Is there any such difference?

As usual i have more questions than answers.

Will ponder on this a bit more.


Monday, March 26, 2007

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

One of the major themes through a lot of my posts has been the fight between our human/carnal nature and our spiritual side. Like Pastor Paul said during his sermon yesterday, Xtains in particular, suffer from a split personality. I suppose this is further evident in many of the great men of God who fell. This internal war raging for control of our minds and soul is one i can identify with. Its a battle that i can say ive been fighting all my life. But prob for the better part of the last 10 years Mr. Hyde has been running things. Since i decided to take my xtain life more seriously ive found out that though the power of sin in my life is broken, the presence of sin remains.

Like Paul, i still do the things i dont want to do and dont do the things i should do. But it seems certain situations result in who turns up i.e. Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. Ive come to the realisation that i cannot kill off Mr. Hyde for good, but i need to starve him of oxygen so he does not breathe and keep reappearing. I should never get complacent when fighting against him. I need to fill my mind with Godly thoughts and not give him room to manoeuvre. My mind should not be fertile ground for negative thoughts which it feeds on. My reaction to whatever challenges and difficulties i face in life should be centered on God and not on my "natural" human reaction.

I will like to see more of Dr. Jekyll in my life. And hopefully through God's help, this my dream will come to pass.


PUSH: A Scorecard

Its a been a week since PUSH ended. I can honestly say its was a worthwhile experience which i know intend to do annually. I now understand the importance of fasting and will definetely be doing a lot more of it during the year as the spirit leads me. I would like to talk about my experience of the fast from both a physical and spiritual perspective.

Physically, the first few days were hard but it got easier as the days progressed. Strange as it may seem, i enjoyed the discipline of it all. Being controlled in when you eat. It was a great, though at times painful, experience. But a part of me still misses it. I now have a greater appreciation for discipline and i intend to be more disciplined in other areas of my life.

Spiritually was a different story. I couldnt spend as much time with God as i would have liked cos of work commitments amongst other things. I also wasnt exactly the greatest example of Christlikeness and holiness during the period. But i learned a lot and was blessed in several ways during the period. I learnt about God's mercy towards me. I not only depend on God, but depend on his mercy. Live by his mercy and grace. Am definitely not a holy person by any stretch of the imagination. Fasting for 3 weeks was never going to transform me overnight. Its a journey of a lifetime and i have just started it. Garageboy. Be PATIENT.

As this was my first fast, it definitely was a good time spent. And i would like to thank everyone who helped and encouraged me during this fasting process.

Take care peeps....

Sunday, March 11, 2007

"For my power is made perfect in weakness"

As i am a human being, living in human flesh, with human faults and weaknesses, i find this bible verse very intriguing. Ive spent the last few days trying to understand what it is trying to tell me. I think i have a better understanding.

Our weaknesses causes us to do things that displease God. But God loves us so much that He wipes the slate clean. His power over us is love. His unconditional love for us is shown through his mercy towards us. Encouraging us to surpass our faults and weaknesses and seek him.

I find it hard thinking someone could love me so much as to keep on forgiving me. God's power over us is his redeeming love for us. We appreciate this power more when we know we dont deserve it. Dont deserve His blessings yet he chooses to bless us. It spurs us forward. God's power is made manifest in our weakness. That is when God's power is shown to us. When our burdens of guilt and shame are lifted and we see Him again. And we are free....

That in my opinion is what is meant by "God's power is made perfect in weakness". We get to experience God's perfect love.

Thats all folks have a great weekend.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Practice Makes Perfect

One of the things am learning about this fasting process is what it means to be a practicing xtian. When hunger strikes, as it does round 3pm, the pain reminds me to focus on God. Maybe say a prayer or sing a song or just think of him. Just something to put me back in God’s presence. As the days go on, it starts becoming part of you and it’s really cool to be honest.

Problem starts after you break your fast. It’s like you go back to how you were beforehand. You are comfortable and feel satisfied. That physical pain is not there anymore to remind you to focus on God. Basically, you are in prime position to take him for granted, get complacent and inevitably to fall.

The phrase “thorn in my flesh” came to mind recently and I did a search in my bible. It linked me to this passage and it says it all

2 Corinthians 12:

7 And to keep me from being too elated by the abundance of revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated.
8 Three times I besought the Lord about this, that it should leave me;
9 but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

This is a profound statement. I believe the thorn in our flesh, that nagging issue or fault or besetting sin serves the same purpose as hunger during fasting. Question is how to channel the pain from the thorn to focusing on God like during the fasting when we get hit by hunger pains. What is different about physical pain than emotional pain that makes it easier to channel to God? Is it that emotional pain aint that bad? Is it cos physical pain comes from the flesh which is easier to deal with while emotional pain is from your soul? Or is it physical pain is more instant while emotional pain more delayed? To be honest I don’t know. It might be a case of different strokes for different folks. Maybe for some people it’s the reverse. I think this will have to be discussed in my blog at some point in the future.

But I like this scripture because it goes on to say "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." God has given us enough tries for us to get it right with him. What we need to do is keep practicing his principles.

Am happy I decided to do PUSH this year. Am learning so much about myself and God. I definitely could be praying more. This is obviously an area I will need to work further on.

Anyhow peeps later