There is a thin line between confidence and pride. Between pride and arrogance. Between pride and self-sufficiency. Between pride and selfishness. My theme for this year is "No Retreat, Total Surrender" and its already starting to feel like a life-time theme.
Pride and selfishness go hand in hand. Both are centered on self. Self-affirmation and self-gratification. No matter what i wish, my self dependency and constant falling tells me deep down somewhere in my heart i still dont believe God will take care of everything. I still want to do things myself. My way. Why? Because deep down somewhere i still dont believe. If i truly believed, why will i do things my way? Why wont i obey His commands? Why wont i let go and let God?
The more i look at myself, the more i see things i need to work on. The more i criticise others, the more i see myself in them. Looking inwards is tough and its a shame when you are disgusted with what you see.
I really want to be Christlike. But i have finally reached the point where i have to admit that patience is the only way to get there. The best part is God has given us His grace to get us there. After every mistake, we can wipe ourselves up and keep trying for the 1000th time. Nothing we do can be so bad to disqualify us from his love. I am amazed by how much God loves us.
Take care peeps
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