Growing is a very painful process. When things don’t go the way you hoped or dreamed it’s very easy to start to doubt God. Doubt what He said about your future. Start to wonder if this is it. If this is the best God has in store for me. If my grandiose dreams will ever come to pass and if so how. I know this sounds stupid. Am supposed to keep on waiting on God which is 100% correct. But the pain of rejection, frustration and disappointment is hard. Worse still the pain of rejection and frustration can open the door to other things to help one “deal with them”.
Which leads me to my next set of questions:
At one’s lowest ebb, how do you resist the allure of instant gratification to numb the pain and forget the heart ache and hurt?
When the heat is on where do you run to get relief? Is it the solace of friendship, the comfort of a familiar habit or do you just internalise it inside?
When the gloomy clouds appear how do we notice they aren’t stationary but actually moving?
When you need an escape where do you run to? Hold on. What are you running from in the 1st place?
How do we learn from life’s experiences without getting scarred by them?
How do you keep remaining upbeat when you don’t seem to have a reason anymore?
What do you do when you don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel? When nothing good seems like its gonna happen?
I know this is a very pessimistic post but am just saying how I feel. Deep down in my heart I know God is there. Watching over me as I type this and wondering silly boy. If only He knew what I’ve got in store for Him.
Father I don’t mean to doubt you. Just wished you would let me know every once in a while that you are still there. Help me Lord to remember you as my refuge and continue to run to you.
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