A wrote this passage below last weekend but didnt get a chance to post it earlier. A friend of mine decided to take some time out to pray and fast with me and i feel a lot better now. Thanks men. I cant seem to relate to this passage anymore but i think i should post it cos it might touch or help some1 else:
Garageboy in the Middle
I feel stuck in the middle. I have decided to embark this xtian walk and so cannot go back to the way I once lived. Yet my constant falling makes me feel too much of a hypocrite to confidently call myself a xtian. I feel like am stuck between a rock and a hard place. A life I can’t go back to and a life I can’t seem to reach
Despite this, I know which way I want to go. I know I don’t want to go back. That life was filled with temporary highs and an ever present feeling of emptiness. And I know I don’t want to stay half way because it’s full of frustration. I can see the promised land. I can even smell the milk and honey. But I always keep on taking one step forward and three steps back. It drives me nuts. It’s difficult not wanting to be too hard on oneself that one starts to feel unworthy and being too easy on yourself so as not to be motivated to make progress.
Maybe I am being too hard on myself. There’s possibly an element of truth in this. But that’s because I desire Christ-likeness so badly. Is it a journey of a lifetime? Hmmm. I really hope not. I don’t want to be here forever until my dying day. I want to walk with God on this earth. To be with Him every waking moment of everyday. But hold on. Can’t I walk with Him to get me there?
After a long period of prayer and meditation, the message God was trying to teach me was faith. These two verses come to mind
22 And Jesus answered them, "Have faith in God.
23 Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.
24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against any one; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."
13 Be watchful, stand firm in your faith, be courageous, be strong.
I need to have faith in God that i have overcome all the challenges i face. Thanks for being a great friend men and taking time out for me.
Thank you father for your love for me.
Its Friday guys. Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!