"Theres a hole in my soul that wont heal"
This lyric is from a track on Kirk Franklin's Hero Album. Have you ever wondered how you feel alive and full during a church service on Sunday but the aura wears off as the week progresses and you feel empty again. Its as if the presence of God fills you up, but as the week progresses do you start running out of gas. You are bombarded with thougths, pressures, temptations that you easily lose your way.
"Theres a hole in my soul that wont heal"
Yes we all know that God has put a desire in us for him and a relationship with him is the path to fulfilling it. But that desire, that void, that hole doesnt seem to understand its role. Like the black hole in space it seems to suck in anything it interfaces. Temptations, thoughts and vices in its wake. But the more it sucks in its still not enough.
"Theres a hole in my soul that wont heal"
So how do you fill a black hole? How do you screen what tries to enter it? How do you keep your thoughts focussed on God amidst all the temptations we face in our lives? How do you win a losing battle against your human nature?
"Theres a hole in my soul that wont heal"
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
Where is Nigeria?
I attended a course recently which touched briefly on a concept i found fascinating. It was called the four levels to excellence or something like that:
Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence
Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence
Stage 3: Conscious Competence
Stage 4: Unconscious Competence
These stages are self explanatory but i thought this framework can apply not only to people but also countries as well. So that led me to think where is Nigeria on this grid? When i argue with people about Nigeria am always told that am unpatriotic but i believe unless you can remove patriotism and national pride from the equation, you can never really assess Nigeria issues. Identifying the issues is always a major part of solving it. There’s no need to pussyfoot about issues or engage in stroking our patriotic ego. In my opinion, Nigeria is in Stage 1. Most people will say that’s stupid. Of course we know Nigeria is incompetent. But my question is do they know why? Every Nigerian has anecdotes to tell about why Nigeria is so bad and we see evidence of this incompetence everywhere everyday. But are we prepared as a nation to ask ourselves, not the government, not our leaders but ourselves why? The only way to move from stage 1 to stage 2 is figuring out the root problem and starting to work on it. And the questions are as follows. What is behind the “Nigerian Factor”? Why does there seem to be a lack of character in this nation not only in its leaders but in its people? Why do our values seem so screwed up? What aspects of our culture are holding us back as a nation? What are we all as Nigerians (including myself) doing that continues to add to this country’s problems? Why have other countries left us behind? Are poverty and bad leadership really the source of Nigeria’s problems? Does Nigeria have a monopoly on poverty and bad leadership? Maybe the problem is deeper than that. Maybe the problem with Nigeria is that it is full of Nigerians?. For very bad leader out there, there are a tonne of equally horrible replacements barking at the gates.
This is bound to offend a lot of people. But I couldn’t care less. Unless we are ready to challenge our assumptions on this country’s problems, we aint going to move anywhere. As human beings through out life we are always eager to blame people and circumstances for our problems. But until we do some serious soul searching do we figure out what the problem is. Can this also apply to our nation. Great people detest mediocrity and overcome challenges in their path to success. Great nations are founded on excellence.
An aside. Too much emphasis is placed on voting. While it is important, there is no such thing as a quick fix. Its part of the solution but a tiny part. If the truth be told we don’t know who we are voting for. Until we are prepared as individuals to look hard at ourselves and make efforts in our own individual lives not to repeat the mistakes of those before us then we r just kidding ourselves. This can be in our places of work, homes and personal lives.
So the question is not “IF” but “Why”? Do I have all the answers to Nigeria’s problems of course not. But I have a sneaking suspicion some soul searching individually wont hurt. Just a hunch. Easy
Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence
Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence
Stage 3: Conscious Competence
Stage 4: Unconscious Competence
These stages are self explanatory but i thought this framework can apply not only to people but also countries as well. So that led me to think where is Nigeria on this grid? When i argue with people about Nigeria am always told that am unpatriotic but i believe unless you can remove patriotism and national pride from the equation, you can never really assess Nigeria issues. Identifying the issues is always a major part of solving it. There’s no need to pussyfoot about issues or engage in stroking our patriotic ego. In my opinion, Nigeria is in Stage 1. Most people will say that’s stupid. Of course we know Nigeria is incompetent. But my question is do they know why? Every Nigerian has anecdotes to tell about why Nigeria is so bad and we see evidence of this incompetence everywhere everyday. But are we prepared as a nation to ask ourselves, not the government, not our leaders but ourselves why? The only way to move from stage 1 to stage 2 is figuring out the root problem and starting to work on it. And the questions are as follows. What is behind the “Nigerian Factor”? Why does there seem to be a lack of character in this nation not only in its leaders but in its people? Why do our values seem so screwed up? What aspects of our culture are holding us back as a nation? What are we all as Nigerians (including myself) doing that continues to add to this country’s problems? Why have other countries left us behind? Are poverty and bad leadership really the source of Nigeria’s problems? Does Nigeria have a monopoly on poverty and bad leadership? Maybe the problem is deeper than that. Maybe the problem with Nigeria is that it is full of Nigerians?. For very bad leader out there, there are a tonne of equally horrible replacements barking at the gates.
This is bound to offend a lot of people. But I couldn’t care less. Unless we are ready to challenge our assumptions on this country’s problems, we aint going to move anywhere. As human beings through out life we are always eager to blame people and circumstances for our problems. But until we do some serious soul searching do we figure out what the problem is. Can this also apply to our nation. Great people detest mediocrity and overcome challenges in their path to success. Great nations are founded on excellence.
An aside. Too much emphasis is placed on voting. While it is important, there is no such thing as a quick fix. Its part of the solution but a tiny part. If the truth be told we don’t know who we are voting for. Until we are prepared as individuals to look hard at ourselves and make efforts in our own individual lives not to repeat the mistakes of those before us then we r just kidding ourselves. This can be in our places of work, homes and personal lives.
So the question is not “IF” but “Why”? Do I have all the answers to Nigeria’s problems of course not. But I have a sneaking suspicion some soul searching individually wont hurt. Just a hunch. Easy
Repentance and Root-Cause-Analysis
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently on the issue of repentance. After a while of constantly repenting about the same things over and over again you start to feel silly and start thinking of giving up. After much reflection, chatting with people and research, I think I’ve found out what the problem is. My focus has been wrong. Instead of repenting over the various things I do, what I should be repenting on is attempting to fulfil the underlying need outside my relationship with God. I stumbled on these underlying needs which we human beings crave for in yet another book I once read :)
- The need to be successful/significant
- The need to be loved
- The need to be respected and accepted
Most of our issues/faults/besetting sins can be traced to attempts to fulfil these needs outside our relationship with God. What I’ve been trying to do now is to change my focus. Repent not on the act but the need I am trying to fulfil and asking God to forgive me for not fulfilling that need in my relationship with him. But it takes a lot of reflection to identify the specific need one is attempting to satisfy and what circumstances bring about that need. Here’s where the root-cause-analysis comes in. One of my favourite sermons from House on the Rock was “Silent Killers” by Pastor Paul. He talks about the futility of chopping at the branches while leaving the root of the problem alive and well. After months of thinking and reflection, I think am getting a better understanding of my root. So whenever I fall I can now better analyse the situation around my fall and try to identify what underlying need am trying to satisfy.
But you know what, attacking the root is probably the hardest part because it forces you to confront things about yourself you might not be very happy about. But it’s a great journey. The voyage of self-discovery is an up-lifting experience. As you begin to understand yourself, you realise as Pastor Paul said that the fault ceases to have you but instead you have the fault i.e. you are in control.
Anyway that’s enough deep talk for now. Easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- The need to be successful/significant
- The need to be loved
- The need to be respected and accepted
Most of our issues/faults/besetting sins can be traced to attempts to fulfil these needs outside our relationship with God. What I’ve been trying to do now is to change my focus. Repent not on the act but the need I am trying to fulfil and asking God to forgive me for not fulfilling that need in my relationship with him. But it takes a lot of reflection to identify the specific need one is attempting to satisfy and what circumstances bring about that need. Here’s where the root-cause-analysis comes in. One of my favourite sermons from House on the Rock was “Silent Killers” by Pastor Paul. He talks about the futility of chopping at the branches while leaving the root of the problem alive and well. After months of thinking and reflection, I think am getting a better understanding of my root. So whenever I fall I can now better analyse the situation around my fall and try to identify what underlying need am trying to satisfy.
But you know what, attacking the root is probably the hardest part because it forces you to confront things about yourself you might not be very happy about. But it’s a great journey. The voyage of self-discovery is an up-lifting experience. As you begin to understand yourself, you realise as Pastor Paul said that the fault ceases to have you but instead you have the fault i.e. you are in control.
Anyway that’s enough deep talk for now. Easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, January 08, 2007
History of Garageboy
Some one asked me recently where the name "Garageboy" came from. Well it goes back to my university days which were one of the happiest times of my life. There was a genre of music called "garage" which was a mix of rap, RnB, hip-hop, dance etc.. It was a fusion of everything and i just connected with it. Whenever i went to a garage club and there was a good dj, I just felt alive. I didnt have to dance or drink or anything. Just chill in a corner and appreciate the music. It just clicked with me. It hit all the right notes. I truly was a garage-boy and looked the part with denim jackets, white trainers etc. Should i change the name now? Simple answer no.. That would not make any sense. Garageboy was my past. I come a long way since then but that phase was an important part of my makeup of who i am today.
Its funny i never intended for this blog to be religious. (You can check my 1st few posts) It just happened that way. I spose it was a gradual process as i wanted to get my act right with God that my tots started to change. Ive only begun this journey and while am not garageboy anymore at least it still gets a funny reation when people hear it.
Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its funny i never intended for this blog to be religious. (You can check my 1st few posts) It just happened that way. I spose it was a gradual process as i wanted to get my act right with God that my tots started to change. Ive only begun this journey and while am not garageboy anymore at least it still gets a funny reation when people hear it.
Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The 3 Rs: Religion, Righteousness and Relationship
I stumbled on this verse at a time when i really needed to see it.
ROMANS 3:10
"as it is written: "None is righteous, no, not one;"
One of the important lessons am being forced to learn is the difference between Religion, Righteousness and Relationship. Religion/Religious, to cut a long story short, is not it. Being religious puts emphasis on doing all the "right" external stuff with what goes on the inside relegated to the background. It is more concerned with the outward appearance of holiness. But men i need God to fix me inside and not really bothered by how people view me.So thats straightforward. I dont want to be religious.
But i desire to be righteous. Yes it is said that God is more concerned with having a relationship with me as opposed to my obedience, but both are intrinsically linked. Sin affects your relationship with God. It either burdens you will guilt that makes you feel unworthy to come to His presence. But thats where the verse above comes in.
"None is righteous, no, not one;"
Does this mean i can do whateva i want and just read my bible everyday. No!!!! Is about focus. Focusing on your relationship God allows you to draw on his power rather than relying on ur own strength which is doomed to failure. I desire to be righteous. Just need to centre my life on God and trust him. I also need to understand why i do the things i do.
Ive been reading a book recently and it talks about how the devil tricks us into meeting God-intended needs in unholy ways.
- The need to be loved he turns into lust
- The need to be respected and accepted into pride
- The need to be successful into greed
Now, this is not an all encompassing list of all sins but it helps but better understand the root causes of our actions. Since i started this blog ive been on a search to find out who i am and why i behave the way i do. I trust deepening my relationship with God will give me additional insight in the matter.
Soul searching is a very tasking journey... But you only get to the end when you figure out you dont find your soul but find God.
Have a great day everyone.
ROMANS 3:10
"as it is written: "None is righteous, no, not one;"
One of the important lessons am being forced to learn is the difference between Religion, Righteousness and Relationship. Religion/Religious, to cut a long story short, is not it. Being religious puts emphasis on doing all the "right" external stuff with what goes on the inside relegated to the background. It is more concerned with the outward appearance of holiness. But men i need God to fix me inside and not really bothered by how people view me.So thats straightforward. I dont want to be religious.
But i desire to be righteous. Yes it is said that God is more concerned with having a relationship with me as opposed to my obedience, but both are intrinsically linked. Sin affects your relationship with God. It either burdens you will guilt that makes you feel unworthy to come to His presence. But thats where the verse above comes in.
"None is righteous, no, not one;"
Does this mean i can do whateva i want and just read my bible everyday. No!!!! Is about focus. Focusing on your relationship God allows you to draw on his power rather than relying on ur own strength which is doomed to failure. I desire to be righteous. Just need to centre my life on God and trust him. I also need to understand why i do the things i do.
Ive been reading a book recently and it talks about how the devil tricks us into meeting God-intended needs in unholy ways.
- The need to be loved he turns into lust
- The need to be respected and accepted into pride
- The need to be successful into greed
Now, this is not an all encompassing list of all sins but it helps but better understand the root causes of our actions. Since i started this blog ive been on a search to find out who i am and why i behave the way i do. I trust deepening my relationship with God will give me additional insight in the matter.
Soul searching is a very tasking journey... But you only get to the end when you figure out you dont find your soul but find God.
Have a great day everyone.
Friday, January 05, 2007
You are how u Drive.
The Japanese judge the personalities of prospective business partners by how they play a round of golf to guage their integrity and temperament. We are constantly told "we are what we eat" or is it how we eat. Its arguable that a greedy dispostion causes gluttony and a miserly one causes you to eat as little as possible. Arguable i know. But ive stumbled on a different one. You are how u drive. The manner which one drives esp in Lagos, in my humble opinion, is a reflection of ones personality. Am trying very hard not to sound moralistic. It shows:
Response to Pressure and Challenges. This shows our willingness to take shortcuts to where we want to go. Everyone has different tolerance levels to traffic. Some once they spot traffic, break the laws immediately turn into the incoming lane or take the one-way road round the corner. Others stay in traffic for a varied period of time before succumbing to the temptation and following the other guy. Some just stick it out till the end. As i said, i dont want to sound moralistic but can u say that this might be a microcosm of how we deal with problems we encounter in life? Just a tot.
Respect for Laws:
Can you claim to be an advocate of law and order if you doing 140km per hr, against traffic on 3rd Mainland Bridge at 9pm at night. Dont laugh. Ive seen this happen. This is just craziness. If u want to put your life at risk thats ur problem. But dont bring innocent people down with you. If i was LASTMA, when i catch such people, i will tell them to get out of the car. Lift their vehicle with a crane and toss it over the bridge into the Atlantic Ocean. Unfortunatley some people only respond to force.
Respect for other people
Is it possible to bash other people's car in traffic to get into their lane or to enter the queue to buy petrol during fuel scarcity. Speed up so u wont let them turn into the road or lane. Stop your car in the middle of the road to answer a phone call and still be a "Nice guy" once you get of your car. Hmmm!!!
Self Esteem
Someone once said you never really know anyone until they are in a position of power.I can safely say that apart from being on drugs, drivers of danfos,tankers, molues and staff buses have serious underlying issues. Once in a position of some sort of power against others because of the size of their vehicles, they take it upon themselves to bully everyone else off the road.
But this is not just limited to these guys. How many times have you ever had a jeep behind you trying to pratically push you off the road to show you whose boss. Or witnessed someone start chasing a car that just overtook them.
Well, as my blog states, these are just my tots. Beeng trying to write about this for a while but hey i finally did. This is 2007. The Year of "No Procrastination". :)
Easy
Response to Pressure and Challenges. This shows our willingness to take shortcuts to where we want to go. Everyone has different tolerance levels to traffic. Some once they spot traffic, break the laws immediately turn into the incoming lane or take the one-way road round the corner. Others stay in traffic for a varied period of time before succumbing to the temptation and following the other guy. Some just stick it out till the end. As i said, i dont want to sound moralistic but can u say that this might be a microcosm of how we deal with problems we encounter in life? Just a tot.
Respect for Laws:
Can you claim to be an advocate of law and order if you doing 140km per hr, against traffic on 3rd Mainland Bridge at 9pm at night. Dont laugh. Ive seen this happen. This is just craziness. If u want to put your life at risk thats ur problem. But dont bring innocent people down with you. If i was LASTMA, when i catch such people, i will tell them to get out of the car. Lift their vehicle with a crane and toss it over the bridge into the Atlantic Ocean. Unfortunatley some people only respond to force.
Respect for other people
Is it possible to bash other people's car in traffic to get into their lane or to enter the queue to buy petrol during fuel scarcity. Speed up so u wont let them turn into the road or lane. Stop your car in the middle of the road to answer a phone call and still be a "Nice guy" once you get of your car. Hmmm!!!
Self Esteem
Someone once said you never really know anyone until they are in a position of power.I can safely say that apart from being on drugs, drivers of danfos,tankers, molues and staff buses have serious underlying issues. Once in a position of some sort of power against others because of the size of their vehicles, they take it upon themselves to bully everyone else off the road.
But this is not just limited to these guys. How many times have you ever had a jeep behind you trying to pratically push you off the road to show you whose boss. Or witnessed someone start chasing a car that just overtook them.
Well, as my blog states, these are just my tots. Beeng trying to write about this for a while but hey i finally did. This is 2007. The Year of "No Procrastination". :)
Easy
Come Fill my Heart
I started this habit of pasting lyrics of songs on this blog. Its part lazyiness i know. But i think it sometimes conveys best how one feels and can be very soothing reading the lyrics over as opposed to singing them. So here we go. I promise not to make this too much of a regular occurence. Maybe i should post one every month. Tag it "Song of the Month" or start a "Garageboy's top 10" chart. LOL. Anyhow am in a sort of "penance-like" mood at the mo so this is quite appropriate. Enjoy!!!!!!!!
Fill this void, and emptiness
Shine Your light, on my darkness
Satisfy, and restore my soul
I long for You, make me whole
(Chorus)
Come quench thirsting
Lord I am ready
Here I am waiting, come fill my heart
You are the only, one who can fill me
Here I am waiting, come fill my heart
Come fill my life, I am incomplete
Let Your love rain down on me
I need You more, Lord I confess
More of You, and nothing less
(Repeat Chorus)
(Bridge)
Come and fill me...I am thirsting...
For You only...God so Holy...
Come and fill me...I am thirsting...
For You only...God so Holy...
(Repeat Chorus)
Fill this void, and emptiness
Shine Your light, on my darkness
Satisfy, and restore my soul
I long for You, make me whole
(Chorus)
Come quench thirsting
Lord I am ready
Here I am waiting, come fill my heart
You are the only, one who can fill me
Here I am waiting, come fill my heart
Come fill my life, I am incomplete
Let Your love rain down on me
I need You more, Lord I confess
More of You, and nothing less
(Repeat Chorus)
(Bridge)
Come and fill me...I am thirsting...
For You only...God so Holy...
Come and fill me...I am thirsting...
For You only...God so Holy...
(Repeat Chorus)
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Core Values
Phew!!!! So its 2007. Well to be honest i dont know whats going to be. And i have no particular milestones in mind for this year. Just to develop more professionally and personally. After all my indulgences of the xmas period, its good to chill, detox, wipe the slate clean and start all over again.
In consulting we are all preoccupied by "core values". This are the principles that should govern ones professional life to reflect the organisation's culture. My goal for this year is to be less like me and to embody more of the xtian core values i.e. the fruits of the spirit. DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its gonna be hard. Just a quick recap on the stuff i need to do:
LOVE: I need to be a more loving person and more willing to go the extra mile for people. I particularly need to express it more externally and stuff. I also need to be more open to being hurt by people and not feel taken advantage of when they hurt me.
Joy & Peace . I need to deal with my mood swings and be more cheerful all year round
Patience I dont need to explain this. If you know me am sure u will understand
Kindness Tied in with the love point earlier. There def is room for improvement
Goodness I need to cut down on my lapses and backsliding. Enough said
Faithfulness Ive been yarning about depending on God for ages. Need to work on it
gentleness I think am ok here really. :)
self-control Men this is too deep for discusion on this blog. Anger management comes to mind amongst other things. Maybe later on.
I was going to do the same analysis for the stuff not of the spirit that i should do less of but that would be too much info for public consumption. :) But hey just wanted to wish everyone a fantastic new yr.
Easy people.....
In consulting we are all preoccupied by "core values". This are the principles that should govern ones professional life to reflect the organisation's culture. My goal for this year is to be less like me and to embody more of the xtian core values i.e. the fruits of the spirit. DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its gonna be hard. Just a quick recap on the stuff i need to do:
LOVE: I need to be a more loving person and more willing to go the extra mile for people. I particularly need to express it more externally and stuff. I also need to be more open to being hurt by people and not feel taken advantage of when they hurt me.
Joy & Peace . I need to deal with my mood swings and be more cheerful all year round
Patience I dont need to explain this. If you know me am sure u will understand
Kindness Tied in with the love point earlier. There def is room for improvement
Goodness I need to cut down on my lapses and backsliding. Enough said
Faithfulness Ive been yarning about depending on God for ages. Need to work on it
gentleness I think am ok here really. :)
self-control Men this is too deep for discusion on this blog. Anger management comes to mind amongst other things. Maybe later on.
I was going to do the same analysis for the stuff not of the spirit that i should do less of but that would be too much info for public consumption. :) But hey just wanted to wish everyone a fantastic new yr.
Easy people.....
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