Moonwalking

This last few weeks have not been good. I used the word "moonwalking" but infact i really meant backsliding. I had a few bottles of wine over the last few weeks. This now seems to be the drink of choice after successfully fending off Star and JD. Apart of me is happy that this burden ive been carrying is over. The whole abstinence thing placed a lot of pressure on me. While am not going to indulge in copious amounts of alcohol anymore, I think ive resolved this issue. What is the resolution. I aint tellin. :)

But this last few weeks has been characterised by not reading my bible, i didnt even go to church on Sunday. What brought this on. I dont know. I cannot track down what led to this debacle. I suppose thats the whole idea. U skip praying for an one night before you do to bed, then reading ur bible for a day, and slowly but surely uve wandered out of your close relationship with God without even knowing it.

Ive been trying to get back over the last few days but its difficult once you lost the rhythm. I cant help feeling am using up all my mercy points with God considerng all he has done in my life. But thank God he is not a man and this is not how he operates. I need to learn how to discipline myself. Its been tough. Very tough..... I know i shouldnt give up...... Ah well. Enough talking. Just PERFORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Take care peeps

Falling Up!!!

One of the things that i am constantly reminded about is the weakness of my flesh and the fragility of my will power. Carrying the burden of not wanting to dissappoint God and incur his wrath by disobeying him is a heavy burden to carry. And the guilt when we fall is immense. You are so ashamed u have fallen that like Adam you try and hide from God (even though He always knows where you are). Ive been constantly told that falling is a fact of the xtian experience and something that i would have to deal with but its hard especially if you are not used to failure in other parts of your life.

Slowly but surely i am coming to the realisation that am not falling down but falling UP.We should not view our failures as bringing us down in God's eyes, but instead increasing our standing as he sees us maturing into what he has called us to be. Its weird, but as one person once put it, we have to fail our way to success. The most important thing: HAVING YOUR HEART IN THE RIGHT PLACE AND DILLIGENTLY SEEKING HIM. Thats all he asks of us. There is no five year plan to attain spiritual maturity, there are no milestones/deadlines to meet or surpass, no heavy burden of expectations. Just to dilligently seek him.

As we navigate through this crazy life, i pray that we all FUMBLE OUR WAY TO SPIRITUAL MATURITY.

Laters Guys..