Wise Words from Hoobastank

“Am not a perfect person, there many things I wish I didn’t do
But I continue learning, I never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go, that i just want you to know
i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you”

This is the first stanza from the Hoobastank song “The Reason”. I heard this song on Rick Dees a few weeks back. It had been ages since the last time I heard it and this time I interpreted the lyrics in a completely different way.

Am working on my relationship with God again and apart from a few blips here and there, it is slowly getting back on track. The solution was simple. Just spend more time with Him. The more time you spend with Him, the closer you feel to him. Sounds funny cos that is kinda obvious. The answer kept on staring me in the face and I just refused to see it. Yeah and whenever you are going through a spiritual low, whatever you do make sure you go to church. Neva mess with that one. If you aint gonna spend time with God in private, that’s one of the last ways He can reach you. Through his word booming from the pulpit.

“Am not a perfect person, there many things I wish I didn’t do”
We should never let the devil use guilt to make us feel too filthy to approach God’s presence with boldness. Yes am not perfect. Yes I do things I shouldn’t do. But Yes God loves me all the same and wants to make me the person he desires me to become.

“But I continue learning, I never meant to do those things to you”
After every fall, failure or defeat, ask for forgiveness and move on. I need to stop dwelling on my failings. It’s just a waste of time. I should just get up, dust myself up, ask for forgiveness and move on.

“I've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be a reason to start over new, and the reason is you”
Am happy I found you Heavenly Father. Am happy you picked me up from my decay and are moulding me into the person you want me to be. Continue to protect me from the wiles of the enemy. Guide me to the promise land which you have set for me.


So what is the reason? The reason is God is love. I can be secure in my relationship with Him because unlike human love it is unconditional. Father let me appreciate You for who You are. And anytime I start playing up, please yank me back to you.

Happy Monday peeps.

Reconnecting the Line

The spiritual line between God and I has been silent for a while. In church yesterday, it just hit me that I hadn’t heard from him for a while. That would explain a lot of things. I haven’t had that same level of clarity I usually enjoy when am with Him. Ive been feeling lost, confused and sad for no apparent reason. Like am lost at sea with waves battering me on every side..

That’s cos I stopped using my compass in navigating through the storms of life. I really depend on God without knowing it. When he is not around I feel it. I really am nothing without Him.

But you see I know that. So when I undergo all these periods of low spirituality, I often just think, yeah yeah, this moment will pass and my relationship with God will just get back on track. But before you know it, you start drifting away and getting farther and farther away from Him. And you know what, the farther you are away, the harder it is to get back. This is especially hard when you know God’s plans for you and you believe them. You get burdened with the guilt that you are gonna screw everything up which if the truth be told is a very clear and present danger.

I know God’s love is unquestionable and immense but how does he keep on finding it in his heart to keep taking me back. If this was a human relationship I would have been dumped a million years ago. I keep getting up and falling down. Getting up and falling down. All the time hoping I avoid God’s punishment and don’t screw up my destiny. Is this really what the rest of my life is going to be. Really?

Heavenly Father I would rather not go through this whole charade with you and just wished I was a dutiful, good, sinless xtain lad. I really wish I was. Am sorry for all the mistakes I continually make. I wish I could promise you I wont repeat them but am just a worthless sinner in need of your grace. I thank you lord for all the things you’ve done in my life. I thank you Lord for all the things you are yet to do. Please Lord I ask you to step in and save me from myself. Don’t let me pollute the blessings you have in store for me. Keep me at peace with you. Help me get back to you. Don’t let me ever leave.

Please give me a dial tone.

Driven vs Workaholic

Yeah i know this sounds overtly dramatic but i stumbled on this website http://www.workaholics-anonymous.org which i thought was great. It gave some indications of how you can know if you are a workaholic. Excerpts include:


We operate out of the mini-crisis mode, using this as an escape from experiencing our true emotions.

We have an obsessive desire to understand everything in our lives, including our every emotion. We cannot allow ourselves to experience emotions that we do not understand, fearing our loss of control.

We judge ourselves by our accomplishments and hence have the illusion that we must always be in the process of accomplishing something worthwhile in order to feel good about ourselves.

Instead of being a haven, our home is an extension of our workplace. Our family and friends often arrange their time with us around our work, vainly hoping we will finish it and then can be with them.

We tend to be over-serious and responsible. All activity must be purposeful. We find it hard to relax and just be; we feel guilty and restless when not working. Because we often work at our play, we rarely experience re-creation and renewal. We neglect our sense of humor and rarely enjoy the healing power of laughter.

Waiting is hard for us. We are more interested in results than process, in quantity than quality. Our impatience often distorts our work by not allowing it proper timing.


I singled out these particular ones cos i think they relate to me. But can someone be driven and not be a workaholic. Is being a goal-oriented person such a bad thing? Any thoughts on this would be great.

I take the general point that i just need to relax and know how to shutdown. I suppose the question is do you "live to work" or "work to live"?

Hmmmmm.

Anyhow folks easy

Holidaying on the Precipice

A book i read a while back wondered why xtains like to play around the boundaries of sin instead of fleeing from it at the 1st sign of temptation. Why do we entertain such thoughts and eventually fall. Since i started writing this blog, ive been stuck in that circle of sin - guilt - forgiveness. sin - guilt - forgiveness. sin - guilt - forgiveness. sin - guilt - forgiveness.

But i am sick and tired of being stuck in this cycle. I recently went on holiday and thought the time to breathe would be good for me to meditate and reflect on my relationship with God. Did i do any of it? No!!!! I didnt even read my bible. And this happens every time i go on Holiday.

It really is hard being holy holy holy all year round. Really really difficult. It is as if as a human being my default position is depravity and its a conscious effort to keep ones carnal nature at bay. I spose the answer is to let the Holy Ghost come in to sort it all out, but men, ive been grieving him for so long. Am tired of letting him down and not sure i should do so again for the umpteenth time.

I know am playing a dangerous game but what can i do. Ive been holidaying at the precipice long before i went on holiday. Ive been holidaying on the precipice for the most part of my life. But its a long way to fall down Lord. And despite my mistakes, i dont wanna fall. At the back of my mind i know you are the only one who can save me. Who can fix me. Who can make me whole. Help me Lord to figure this out and believe you.

Redemption

I used to struggle with asking for God’s forgiveness for my sins. I used to (and sometimes still) overburdened with guilt and shame and will instead try to runaway from God instead (as if that were possible). But am starting to realise the power of redemption. I can’t really explain it. But when i ask forgiveness for my sins, I feel unburdened. Like a weight has been lifted off me and I feel a renewed passion to continue to strive for perfection. The fact someone somewhere loves me so much he would forgive me of actions and wipe the slate clean as if nothing ever happened just because of his love for me is amazing. How can I not be overwhelmed by such a declaration of love. How can I not be encouraged to keep striving? To keep pushing? To keep getting up.

The stumbling block I encountered for all this time was that I never really believed I had been forgiven and was still waiting for some divine punishment somewhere. But God said we should come into His presence with boldness and not with fear.

Father I sincerely wish I was devoid of sin and don’t have to continually keep asking for your forgiveness. Unfortunately, am still on this journey to become the person you called me to be. Father let your grace and mercy continually follow me Lord and keep me in your loving arms.

Thank you Lord.

Strengths and Weaknesses

In my quest for spiritual development and maturity. I’ve noticed I spend a lot of my time focussing on my weaknesses. Areas for improvement etc. I believe this is necessary, so I don’t get ahead of myself and quit striving for perfection. But this its also dangerous because you lose sight of all the progress you have made.

When my weakness gets the better of me, especially when it is a recurring one, there is a temptation to be hard on oneself and assume there has been no progress. To be honest, I spend so much time being my own worst critic that I struggle to actually think of any of my supposed strengths.

If I had to mention one of my strengths, I would say it is that am still here. Despite my flaws and numerous falls, I still haven’t given up and you know what that might not be as insignificant as I think it is.

Anyhow peeps. Take care.

Taking Out the Trash

Am currently in one of those moods where my mind has been wandering. Seriously wandering. I’ve been entertaining thoughts which I shouldn’t be and letting those thoughts fester and take root. It’s time to take out the trash. I need to cleanse my mind and fill it with pure thoughts once again. It’s weird how it’s easier to dwell on things not of the spirit than those which are. How it is easier, sometimes even enjoyable to think negative thoughts than positive ones. And you know what? The more you dwell on them, the more they appear to be real and then you feel burdened by things which are not important or even imagined.

It really is time to take out the trash. It is time for me to let the Holy Spirit come in with His broom and give my mind a good sweep. It’s a difficult struggle to control ones thoughts. But its important cos our thoughts enable our actions. I suppose saturating my mind with heavenly thoughts is the answer. But its difficult. After a while you get tired of being holy, of always doing the right think or always wanting to do the right thing. The flesh gets bored and starts bugging you. And once the flesh gets reconnected with the brain, you are TOAST

So really, the issue is not what I do but what I think. I should stop focusing on my actions and start focussing on my thoughts. But I need to keep reminding myself to stop treating my spiritual life like a career goal but instead depend on the Holy Spirit to see me through.

Easy

Misplaced Priorities

My career objectives and goals are very important to me. My desire for personal and professional development is immense. But there is always a danger of putting my own goals, career or otherwise, ahead of my relationship with God.

My relationship with God should be the gauge of my success. He is the source of everything. I need to keep my gaze on Him so He leads me as opposed to my own myopic goals. It is only through Him that i can achieve all my other goals anyway. Only with the Holy Spirit guiding me will i be able to make the right decisions and do the right things at the right time.

Father, don't let me ever forget you are the source of everything i am and will eventually be. Help me keep my focus and perspective on you and you alone. Help me Lord to search for you in my hour of need.

Thank you for having mercy on this foolish young man and let your presence never depart from me.

Romans 6

1 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound?
2 By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?
3 Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?
4 We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.
5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.
6 We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the sinful body might be destroyed, and we might no longer be enslaved to sin.
7 For he who has died is freed from sin.
8 But if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him.
9 For we know that Christ being raised from the dead will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.
10 The death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.
11 So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.
12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions.
13 Do not yield your members to sin as instruments of wickedness, but yield yourselves to God as men who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments of righteousness.
14 For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.
15 What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means!
16 Do you not know that if you yield yourselves to any one as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?
17 But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed,
18 and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.
19 I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once yielded your members to impurity and to greater and greater iniquity, so now yield your members to righteousness for sanctification.
20 When you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness.
21 But then what return did you get from the things of which you are now ashamed? The end of those things is death.
22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the return you get is sanctification and its end, eternal life.
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Power of Forgiveness

When we ask for God's forgiveness in our lives for the things we willingly and knowingly do despite the blessings He showers on our lives, its a greatly humbling experience. Not only does it tell us about the greatness of God, but also the littleness of men. It takes a lot to forgive people that have wronged you especially when you feel it is not justified. But if God can forgive me for all i have done and continually do, then who am i to withhold that from someone else. I need to learn to be mature, patient and humble in order to forgive people.

Everything happens for a reason. I think this is a lesson God is trying to teach me right now.

Learn to forgive Garageboy. Learn to forgive.

Easy peeps.

No Accidents

God does not make mistakes. He does not do accidents. But he allows things to happen to us for a reason. When situations arise, in the heat of the moment, we seem to forget to ask God what he is trying to tell us.

In order to see what God is trying to tell us in any situation involves us not only spending time with Him but also stepping out of the situation so we can look at it from a vantage point. From both a spiritual and objective point.

But while waiting for God to reveal his purpose in our life, he gives us peace to bear the situation. I long for God's peace to calm the storms. I rest on his promise to take care of me. I know he only wants the best for me and will always give me a point of escape.

Help me father to see your will. To see what you are seeing in my circumstances. Thank you Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Human Needs & Spiritual Solutions

I mentioned earlier on this in this blog about a book i read which mentioned the different types of human needs and how are issues/trials/besetting sins can be traced to satisfying these needs in our relationship with God:
- the need to be loved
- the need to be respected and accepted
- the need to be significant/successful

I also mentioned, we should focus on the underlying need we are trying to resolve and not the acts in which they manifest themselves in.

While i've made progress on this issue there is still a recurring theme which keeps coming up. Stop trying to fulfill "HUMAN NEEDS IN A HUMAN WAY". We are to fulfill "HUMAN NEEDS IN A SPIRITUAL WAY".

The fact this is counter-intuitive is exactly the point. We are not supposed to understand. It's not algebra. It is FAITH. Keep the Holy Spirit close to you and let him fill you.

To stop thinking like a human being requires paradigm shifts. You end up doing things that people look at you as if you are crazy and you don't particularly understand yourself.

Taking it to the spiritual level is difficult. The devil will always want to remind you whenever you fall that you are too filthy to come to God's presence. Discourage you that you are not making any progress. But the devil is a liar. God's wants us to be close to him. We should never let anyone ever tell us that we are unworthy to come into his presence because there is no such thing.

WHATEVER WE HAVE DONE, WE SHOULD COME INTO HIS PRESENCE IN HUMILITY AND FAITH AND HE IS ALWAYS GOING TO TAKE US BACK. GUARANTEED. THAT IS WHY HE IS A GREAT GOD.

Anyhow folks gotta go.

Easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prayer for Help

Heavenly Father. I know i need You. I know You are the only one that can save my soul. But i don't know why i have difficulty reaching for You in my time of need. I don't know why i have an aversion for doing the right thing. Even though i know you are the only one that can help me. Who can save me from myself.

Father. Please don't give up on me. Though my actions might suggest otherwise. Deep down in my heart, i long for you. Give me strength to withstand the wiles of the enemy. I love you Lord. I want to grow in my relationship with you. Please don't let me take for granted all you have done for me. Father, please give me the grace to live the way you want me to. Touch my heart. Let your Holy Spirit rest on me. Tune my ear and my heart to listen to it and respond accordingly.

Father never depart from me. Keep me safe. Keep in your wings. I am nothing without you.

Thank you Lord..

Hide and Seek

"Hide and Seek" is a game played by children and as i play this game a lot with God i can say with certainty that i am still A SPIRITUAL BABY. While i am not proud of this tag and wish i had made more progress in this walk, i have to accept that am still learning the ropes on this spiritual journey. Still fumbling and stumbling like a baby learning how to walk.

Ive been playing hide and seek with God. Hiding from Him when i don't feel particularly up to it and seeking him when i start to miss Him. When i start to feel empty. When i start to feel alone. When i talk about the progress i made in this xtian walk, its that. I now have a longing for God. When i've not spent time with him for a few days i start to miss him. I keep coming back to my 1st love.

But you know what? There is nothing wrong with being a spiritual baby. Its just a phase one goes through in our walk with God. There is always a tendency of forgetting the good things you are doing and the progress you have made when you keep focusing on your faults. Which is what the devil wants us to do. Reminding us of our failings and how we are unworthy to come into the presence of the Holy One. But we all know he is a liar.

Love is a powerful thing. It allows you to open up and free yourself from yourself. Experiencing God's love in my life despite my erring ways has been (and still is) a refreshing experience. I only hope i can spread this love to all those around me.

Anyhow. Take care people and have a great week ahead.

Lessons Learnt

I read in a devotion today the link between the trials we face and the lesson God is trying to teach us. Basically trials happen for a reason. We overcome trials when we identify what lesson God is trying to teach us. That's fascinating!!! The long running theme in all trials that we face is that God will see us through them. So i suppose FAITH and DEPENDENCE on God is the most useful lesson that is critical to this Xtian walk.

So where does obedience to his WORD come in? How do we know when God is trying to us stop doing certain things in our lives? To forgive someone that's wronged us? etc. To be honest, all the questions seem to stem from the most important one. FAITH AND DEPENDENCE!!!!!!!!!!. Once you got that sorted. Youve got it made.

Like all human beings i acknowledge i have faults. Sometimes it seems i can never change them. But i know thats not the way God wants me to be no matter how hard it seems to change. I must persevere depsite all thats around me, my faults and mistakes and be bold to say:

FATHER, despite my faults and weaknesses, i am still not afraid or guilty or ashamed to come into your presence and ask You to make me what You want me to be. To continually cleanse me of my unrighteousness and unbelief. I do not excuse my actions but i know its only you that can make me the person you want me to be. Help me not to treat this as some project i need to accomplish. Or some time based objective i need to achieve. Just grow on me and make me whole.

Thank you for your favour. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your mercy.

AMEN

Spiderman the Xtian

I watched Spiderman 3 last week which was quite good to be honest. But i couldn't help noticing strong Xtian themes in the movie. The inner battle between our good and carnal nature, forgiveness, redemption and the foolishness of pride.

Spiderman was going through what most Xtians go through especially as the power of God starts to move in our lives. The tendency to get cocky and believing your own hype is high. The wiles of the devil increases and we need to constantly grow spiritually to counter his plans to displace us from where God is sending us.

Whether this was intentional or not i have no idea. But it was quite interesting to notice nonetheless.

This was a short post i know.

Anyhow take care folks

I Believe i Can FLY

My last few posts have been quite pessimistic. I supppose i was just going through a spiritual low or reacting to all the pressures around me. Am in a better place now so can explain it all a bit better.

Ive found out that the reason I dont obey God or run to Him to help me deal with the pressures in my life is because, despite the fact i want to, there is still a part of me which does not believe He will see me through.

If i did truly believe God can deliver me from all manner of temptations, pressures and problems, why will i let them get to me? If i really believed that all things will work out for my good, why do i still spend all my energy worrying? Trying to do things on my own without His help.

I need to increase my faith and have confidence that God has my back, regardless of any circumstance i face and He will see me through. I need to believe i can fly!! Soar to greater heights in my relationship with Him, my dependency on Him and in my sprirtuality.

"Less of me. More of Him."
- I also need to inscribe this on my forehead :)

Anyhow folks gosta go.

Easy!!!!!!!!!!!

An Incovenient Marriage

Ayokunle always knew this marriage was never going to work. Ayo and Kunle could never get on. They both wanted different things in life. Viewed life with different lenses. Kunle wants to live to the fullest. Ayo wants to play it straight. Ayo wants to act the way Kunle feels. Kunle wants to act the way Ayo thinks.

Its amazing how two people who cannot stand each other can live in the same house. Share the same facilities. Eat from the same table. Use the different areas of the house at different times for different things.

But Ayokunle had no hand in the matter. The nuptial bonds between Ayo and Kunle were tied by grand design. Just knew the marriage had to work. Divorce was not possible. But this could never be a marriage of equals. One person had to be dominant and the other submissive. But who and why?

The fate of these three persons, Ayokunle, Ayo and Kunle, are intrinsically linked. The death of one is the death of all. Or is it?

How can Ayokunle let Ayo reign and keep restless Kunle under wraps?

Spiritual Sickness

Whenever we think of Jehovah-Rapha, the God that Heals, we always seem to equate that healing with the physical healing i.e. blindness, handicap as contained in the bible. But what about healing from spiritual sickness.

Sickness is defined as the impairment of normal physiological function affecting part or all of an organism. Whenever my physical body gets sick, i go to the doctor, get some drugs and after a few days am right as rain. Sometimes, the sickness can be prevented by living healthily, but at times it is also caused by unforeseen circumstances. It just happens. But is spiritual sickness the same. Is it possible to live a healthy spiritual life, read your bible, spend time with God and still fall spiritually sick.

But what is spiritual sickness? Hmm. I reckon its not being right with God. Not living the life he intends for you. Not being close to him. And the symptom. SIN. The presence of sin is that sign that all is not well with ones spritual life. I suppose i recieve my healing from spritual sickness in repentance and belief that i will be well again. Luke 17:19 says

"Get up, and go your way. Your faith has healed you."

But is it unrealistic to expect to never be spiritually sick. Do we just trod along and when we fall just say sorry i cant help myself and move on? How do we stop being indulgent? How do you differentiate between spiritual sickness resulting from an unhealthy spiritual life and one that just happens. Is there any such difference?

As usual i have more questions than answers.

Will ponder on this a bit more.

Easy

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

One of the major themes through a lot of my posts has been the fight between our human/carnal nature and our spiritual side. Like Pastor Paul said during his sermon yesterday, Xtains in particular, suffer from a split personality. I suppose this is further evident in many of the great men of God who fell. This internal war raging for control of our minds and soul is one i can identify with. Its a battle that i can say ive been fighting all my life. But prob for the better part of the last 10 years Mr. Hyde has been running things. Since i decided to take my xtain life more seriously ive found out that though the power of sin in my life is broken, the presence of sin remains.

Like Paul, i still do the things i dont want to do and dont do the things i should do. But it seems certain situations result in who turns up i.e. Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. Ive come to the realisation that i cannot kill off Mr. Hyde for good, but i need to starve him of oxygen so he does not breathe and keep reappearing. I should never get complacent when fighting against him. I need to fill my mind with Godly thoughts and not give him room to manoeuvre. My mind should not be fertile ground for negative thoughts which it feeds on. My reaction to whatever challenges and difficulties i face in life should be centered on God and not on my "natural" human reaction.

I will like to see more of Dr. Jekyll in my life. And hopefully through God's help, this my dream will come to pass.

Easy

PUSH: A Scorecard

Its a been a week since PUSH ended. I can honestly say its was a worthwhile experience which i know intend to do annually. I now understand the importance of fasting and will definetely be doing a lot more of it during the year as the spirit leads me. I would like to talk about my experience of the fast from both a physical and spiritual perspective.

Physically, the first few days were hard but it got easier as the days progressed. Strange as it may seem, i enjoyed the discipline of it all. Being controlled in when you eat. It was a great, though at times painful, experience. But a part of me still misses it. I now have a greater appreciation for discipline and i intend to be more disciplined in other areas of my life.

Spiritually was a different story. I couldnt spend as much time with God as i would have liked cos of work commitments amongst other things. I also wasnt exactly the greatest example of Christlikeness and holiness during the period. But i learned a lot and was blessed in several ways during the period. I learnt about God's mercy towards me. I not only depend on God, but depend on his mercy. Live by his mercy and grace. Am definitely not a holy person by any stretch of the imagination. Fasting for 3 weeks was never going to transform me overnight. Its a journey of a lifetime and i have just started it. Garageboy. Be PATIENT.

As this was my first fast, it definitely was a good time spent. And i would like to thank everyone who helped and encouraged me during this fasting process.

Take care peeps....

"For my power is made perfect in weakness"

As i am a human being, living in human flesh, with human faults and weaknesses, i find this bible verse very intriguing. Ive spent the last few days trying to understand what it is trying to tell me. I think i have a better understanding.

Our weaknesses causes us to do things that displease God. But God loves us so much that He wipes the slate clean. His power over us is love. His unconditional love for us is shown through his mercy towards us. Encouraging us to surpass our faults and weaknesses and seek him.

I find it hard thinking someone could love me so much as to keep on forgiving me. God's power over us is his redeeming love for us. We appreciate this power more when we know we dont deserve it. Dont deserve His blessings yet he chooses to bless us. It spurs us forward. God's power is made manifest in our weakness. That is when God's power is shown to us. When our burdens of guilt and shame are lifted and we see Him again. And we are free....

That in my opinion is what is meant by "God's power is made perfect in weakness". We get to experience God's perfect love.

Thats all folks have a great weekend.

Practice Makes Perfect

One of the things am learning about this fasting process is what it means to be a practicing xtian. When hunger strikes, as it does round 3pm, the pain reminds me to focus on God. Maybe say a prayer or sing a song or just think of him. Just something to put me back in God’s presence. As the days go on, it starts becoming part of you and it’s really cool to be honest.

Problem starts after you break your fast. It’s like you go back to how you were beforehand. You are comfortable and feel satisfied. That physical pain is not there anymore to remind you to focus on God. Basically, you are in prime position to take him for granted, get complacent and inevitably to fall.

The phrase “thorn in my flesh” came to mind recently and I did a search in my bible. It linked me to this passage and it says it all

2 Corinthians 12:

7 And to keep me from being too elated by the abundance of revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated.
8 Three times I besought the Lord about this, that it should leave me;
9 but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

This is a profound statement. I believe the thorn in our flesh, that nagging issue or fault or besetting sin serves the same purpose as hunger during fasting. Question is how to channel the pain from the thorn to focusing on God like during the fasting when we get hit by hunger pains. What is different about physical pain than emotional pain that makes it easier to channel to God? Is it that emotional pain aint that bad? Is it cos physical pain comes from the flesh which is easier to deal with while emotional pain is from your soul? Or is it physical pain is more instant while emotional pain more delayed? To be honest I don’t know. It might be a case of different strokes for different folks. Maybe for some people it’s the reverse. I think this will have to be discussed in my blog at some point in the future.

But I like this scripture because it goes on to say "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." God has given us enough tries for us to get it right with him. What we need to do is keep practicing his principles.

Am happy I decided to do PUSH this year. Am learning so much about myself and God. I definitely could be praying more. This is obviously an area I will need to work further on.

Anyhow peeps later

I Don't Want a Miracle

Last night, the visiting pastor said something that hit home. You should't ask for a miracle, you should ask to be a blessing. That is deep. Asking for miracles is like living from hand to mouth. But to ask to be a blessing is to operate at a higher level. He gave the illustration of 2 people. 1 that has 5 cars and the other has none. If the guy with 5 cars, gives the other guy a car for free, the other guy receives a miracle. But the other guy is in a position to be used to bless people.

This is a serious paradigm shift. It requires looking at the bigger picture. Believe God for everything. Not to focus on current needs alone. Ive had issues asking God for mundane things. I feel as if am using him or cheapening his love for me. I feel better just asking Him to be with me. To never leave me. To have his grace cover me. To guide and protect me. To forgive me of the sins which i wilfully commit. To help me to have faith in him. But now i can ask for another one. To be a blessing to people not for my own benefit but for his.

I need to learn to be a more compassionate person. I mentioned "love" and "kindness" as some of the core values i need to improve upon this year. In order for me to be a blessing to others i need to let go and open up. But thats what i want to be Lord. A blessing.

Just a quick aside. Before i attended House on the Rock, i just believed what everyone said about it. A church filled with scantily clad ladies and people thinking they are in a disco. What i have discovered is something completely different. The Word that comes from that pulpit has changed my life. I love that church and even though i grumble about a few things now and again, those things are minor. If anything i would invite anyone who hasnt been to come to a Sunday service preferably 2nd service at 9:15pm at the Muson Centre, Onikan.

Its a great place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Easy people

How to Pray

I always had issues with formalised structured prayers. I can do grandiose ones when called upon but i cant talk to God that way in private. Cos thats what prayer means right. Talking to God. It just doesnt flow naturally. I never ever think "Okay God. I wanna talk to you now. So here's my speech" . It just kinda happens. I just communicate with him randomly during the day.

But like most things in life you need structure. The problem with just communicating with him randomly is that you only focus on what you feel like at the moment. You lose sight of the big picture. Like praying for the nation, the world, your church, your place of work. This issue has become more prominent during this fasting period. In trying to step up a gear, am trying to be more structured in my prayer routine. Taking a more holistic (pardon the pun) view is instrumental because it puts your own issues in perspective and stops one being self-centered. I reckon i will have to draft my prayer points and got through them one by one to force myself to be more disciplined in prayer.

One recurring thing am learning from this xtain life is the importance of discipline. Theres no other way round it. You have to be discplined in all aspects of life. Its a lesson am learning and hopefully improving upon.

Anyhow. Enough randomness for today..

That all Folks.

Fasting for Beginners

Yes ive never fasted before. Get over it :). House on the Rock do an annual fast called PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens). I decided to do it this year. However, ive had to customise it to the pecularities of my situation. First we are supposed to break with soup. Giving the hours i work and my commute everyday, am not sure i can live on a bowl of soup a day. Definitely not for a consecutive set of days. So i break the fast with a much needed meal. :)

But a more important issue is how to fast effectively when you are working. How do you keep your thoughts on God any differently than you normally do? Apart from not eating what other things should you do? And not do? How do i make this fast different from when am not fasting?

Shouldnt our relationship with God always be on a consistently high level and not a spike in the graph during lent. A colleague of mine stated that the spike should be permamnent i.e. it should take you to a higher level. Hmmmmmmmm.....This is one of the issues i need to do more research on. But ive started. Will let you know my progress....

Enjoy

Hocus Pocus

Ive been reading a book recently which stated that there are 3 sources of temptation:

1) The World
2) The Flesh
3) The Devil.

Now the first one i can understand cos of the world we live in. But as for the last two, am not so sure. How do you tell the difference? Someone once said that the Devil greatest ever trick was to make the world think he does not exist. There is some element of truth in it. I know about talk of "principalities" etc and how there is a spiritual war going on all around us but i still find it difficult to think that there is a devil/demons out that are hell bent on making me fall. Am not sure if its because its too scary a thought to contemplate or cos it might come across as an excuse whenever i fall. But its just weird.

Yes i know we live in Nigeria and with all the "juju" that apparently goes on surely you should know that there are demonic forces at work. Thats a good point. To be honest, i think its just a scary thought thats all. And that i would rather not think of it, which is probably what the devil wants anyway. If anything the devil uses the world and the weakness of your flesh to try and reach us.

But you know what the devil actually does not have power to make you do anything. We chooose to. As a child of God, we can rest in the knowledge that no such thing can happen to us and that we have the power to overcome.

I have to confess, i dont like talking about this subject because it sounds so weird, like some horror story. Also because its to difficult to understand. I suppose the moral of the story is whatever the source of the temptation we know for certain its not from God but we can utilise His power to overcome it.

Phew that sounds better... I think i will leave this topic for a bit.

Easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Firmly on the Ground

Ive noticed anytime i start feeling holy and start getting ahead of myself that am now mature or getting stronger in this xtain walk, I always inevitably fall. Its a very sober feeling. It emphasises the need for humility. Am a sinner and no matter the progress i make i should never forget that if not for grace, i am nowhere. I am nothing.

Ive been wondering. If i didnt have faults would i still seek God? That if i didnt have a void in my soul will i still seek his control over my life. The fact that i fall lets me know how much i need him. It puts my feet firmly on the ground. It removes all the pride i might feel. It allows be to stop being judgemental about other people. It helps me to better understand humanity and human beings. To see why people behave the way they do.

But the best thing it dos is gives you peace. To know that your soul is in good hands gives you peace. The fact that there is someone who loves you so much and is willing you on the race of life is refreshing.

Walking with God is an amazing experience. I hope i can keep on this track no matter what trials and tribulations come my way......

Its Monday. Hope you enjoy the rest of the week......

Looking forward to a beating

Dont worry i have not turned into some sort of masochist overnight. I just want to talk about divine punishment. When we fall as we do in this xtian walk we are normally hit by 2 different emotions. Guilt and Fear. Guilt over what we have done, Fear of God's punishment. I know that God is merciful and he doesnt punish us as we deserve. But He still punishes us when He thinks we need "sorting-out". Now this seems counter-intuitive or maybe perverse, but rather than being scared of God's punishment, shouldnt we look forward to it?

God just doesnt punish us just cos he feels like, but to put us back on track on our mission to seek him and have a deep relationship with him. But how do we know when we are being punished or being tested? Well, in my humble opinion, it doesnt matter. They both serve the same purpose. Keep us on track with our relationship with God. One intends to bring us back to our relationship with him, the other to take us to another level of fellowship with him.

But hold on. Am not saying we shouldnt fear God or revere Him. Am just saying we shouldnt picture him as a wicked secondary teacher who just loves caning people at the slightest inkling and that we should run away from him or come to him with a fearful heart.

Every once in a while, i look over this blog and read through my previous posts. I remember how i felt when i poured out my heart and then i realise that i am changing. My mind is being renewed. I feel unburdened. I still have a long way to go but i think i have started the race. I remember my final year in University when i got the "shock therapy" i needed to start making moves to sort my life out. I used to think if i started this journey a lot earlier than i would be a in "better place" in my life (both spiritually and professionally). But God's time is best. Am at peace now. And you know what. You cant ask for more than that.

Later People..........

A Different Type of Promised Land.

The Israelites longed for a land flowing with milk and honey. To most of us the Promised Land might be a physical location or possessions or status. I want to focus on the Promised Land as a state of being. A place of righteousness. A place of “Christ-likeness”. A place of oneness with God. It took the Israelites 40 years to get to the Promised Land but we all know that the actual journey should have taken weeks.

So why did the Israelites travel for years trying to get to the Promised Land? What can I learn from their experience? What kept them back from reaching the Promised Land earlier? Well they complained, worshipped other gods, basically they didn’t have faith in God that they would get there.

One of the things that a pastor said recently was the difference between working hard and working smart. The forty years was just not necessary. But how do I apply this principle to my life? Well, it shows that the road to spiritual maturity will be as long as I make it. It doesn’t have to be a multi-year fight or does it? Was the Israelites’ wandering for 40 years necessary for them to appreciate the Promised Land when they got there? Is a long protracted struggle on my quest necessary for me to appreciate being spiritually mature?

Hold on Faith. That’s it. If they had faith that God was gonna get them to the Promised Land, they wouldn’t have done all the things they did. So if I have faith, I can overcome whatever bumps I meet on my path and get there quicker. Or is it get there on time? Hmmmmm……

But can it be that easy. Just have faith. That’s all you need. Well faith backed up by actions. Now I think I understand why faith is so important. If we see our lives as a journey to the Promised Land, and see obstacles we face as bumps on the way to that Promised Land and have faith that we can overcome those bumps and back up that faith with actions, we will get to the Promised Land. Phew!!! That’s a mouthful……

Interesting. But can it be possible that these bumps in the road are not what we think they are? If our purpose in life is to seek God. Then the Promised Land is Finding God. If the journey is seeking him and if we view all the challenges we face in life as attempts to stop us seeking God then we can put them in perspective. Can that be it? Really it? Can it be so straightforward?

“Seek first the Kingdom of God and other things will be added unto you”

I don’t know how to end this post. I believe I need to think about this a bit more.

Losing Battles. Winning the War

My last post ended on a bit of a pessimistic note. I think it just encapsulated my mood at the time. On sober reflection I found out that am not in battle with my human nature but at war with it. Whats the difference? A war is a sum of battles. We might lose a few battles, maybe even many, but that does not mean we have lost the war. We only lose the war when we give up. We win the war when we finally leave this earth with our relationship with God in tact.

But you cant win the war by losing every battle. But that raises questions. Is there such a thing as an optimum number of battles you can lose? I dunno. I beleive this is different for everyone. It seems everytime i get stumped on a question or an issue an answer keeps on coming up. Keep close to God. Dont mess about with your relationship with him. "The battles is mine says the Lord". I need to beleive the end already. That the result of the fight has been settled. I have already won. Just have to put the result i can see on paper into practice in real-life. Easier said than done right?

Anyhow peeps. Easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Black Hole

"Theres a hole in my soul that wont heal"

This lyric is from a track on Kirk Franklin's Hero Album. Have you ever wondered how you feel alive and full during a church service on Sunday but the aura wears off as the week progresses and you feel empty again. Its as if the presence of God fills you up, but as the week progresses do you start running out of gas. You are bombarded with thougths, pressures, temptations that you easily lose your way.

"Theres a hole in my soul that wont heal"

Yes we all know that God has put a desire in us for him and a relationship with him is the path to fulfilling it. But that desire, that void, that hole doesnt seem to understand its role. Like the black hole in space it seems to suck in anything it interfaces. Temptations, thoughts and vices in its wake. But the more it sucks in its still not enough.

"Theres a hole in my soul that wont heal"

So how do you fill a black hole? How do you screen what tries to enter it? How do you keep your thoughts focussed on God amidst all the temptations we face in our lives? How do you win a losing battle against your human nature?

"Theres a hole in my soul that wont heal"

Where is Nigeria?

I attended a course recently which touched briefly on a concept i found fascinating. It was called the four levels to excellence or something like that:

Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence
Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence
Stage 3: Conscious Competence
Stage 4: Unconscious Competence

These stages are self explanatory but i thought this framework can apply not only to people but also countries as well. So that led me to think where is Nigeria on this grid? When i argue with people about Nigeria am always told that am unpatriotic but i believe unless you can remove patriotism and national pride from the equation, you can never really assess Nigeria issues. Identifying the issues is always a major part of solving it. There’s no need to pussyfoot about issues or engage in stroking our patriotic ego. In my opinion, Nigeria is in Stage 1. Most people will say that’s stupid. Of course we know Nigeria is incompetent. But my question is do they know why? Every Nigerian has anecdotes to tell about why Nigeria is so bad and we see evidence of this incompetence everywhere everyday. But are we prepared as a nation to ask ourselves, not the government, not our leaders but ourselves why? The only way to move from stage 1 to stage 2 is figuring out the root problem and starting to work on it. And the questions are as follows. What is behind the “Nigerian Factor”? Why does there seem to be a lack of character in this nation not only in its leaders but in its people? Why do our values seem so screwed up? What aspects of our culture are holding us back as a nation? What are we all as Nigerians (including myself) doing that continues to add to this country’s problems? Why have other countries left us behind? Are poverty and bad leadership really the source of Nigeria’s problems? Does Nigeria have a monopoly on poverty and bad leadership? Maybe the problem is deeper than that. Maybe the problem with Nigeria is that it is full of Nigerians?. For very bad leader out there, there are a tonne of equally horrible replacements barking at the gates.

This is bound to offend a lot of people. But I couldn’t care less. Unless we are ready to challenge our assumptions on this country’s problems, we aint going to move anywhere. As human beings through out life we are always eager to blame people and circumstances for our problems. But until we do some serious soul searching do we figure out what the problem is. Can this also apply to our nation. Great people detest mediocrity and overcome challenges in their path to success. Great nations are founded on excellence.

An aside. Too much emphasis is placed on voting. While it is important, there is no such thing as a quick fix. Its part of the solution but a tiny part. If the truth be told we don’t know who we are voting for. Until we are prepared as individuals to look hard at ourselves and make efforts in our own individual lives not to repeat the mistakes of those before us then we r just kidding ourselves. This can be in our places of work, homes and personal lives.

So the question is not “IF” but “Why”? Do I have all the answers to Nigeria’s problems of course not. But I have a sneaking suspicion some soul searching individually wont hurt. Just a hunch. Easy

Repentance and Root-Cause-Analysis

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently on the issue of repentance. After a while of constantly repenting about the same things over and over again you start to feel silly and start thinking of giving up. After much reflection, chatting with people and research, I think I’ve found out what the problem is. My focus has been wrong. Instead of repenting over the various things I do, what I should be repenting on is attempting to fulfil the underlying need outside my relationship with God. I stumbled on these underlying needs which we human beings crave for in yet another book I once read :)

- The need to be successful/significant
- The need to be loved
- The need to be respected and accepted

Most of our issues/faults/besetting sins can be traced to attempts to fulfil these needs outside our relationship with God. What I’ve been trying to do now is to change my focus. Repent not on the act but the need I am trying to fulfil and asking God to forgive me for not fulfilling that need in my relationship with him. But it takes a lot of reflection to identify the specific need one is attempting to satisfy and what circumstances bring about that need. Here’s where the root-cause-analysis comes in. One of my favourite sermons from House on the Rock was “Silent Killers” by Pastor Paul. He talks about the futility of chopping at the branches while leaving the root of the problem alive and well. After months of thinking and reflection, I think am getting a better understanding of my root. So whenever I fall I can now better analyse the situation around my fall and try to identify what underlying need am trying to satisfy.

But you know what, attacking the root is probably the hardest part because it forces you to confront things about yourself you might not be very happy about. But it’s a great journey. The voyage of self-discovery is an up-lifting experience. As you begin to understand yourself, you realise as Pastor Paul said that the fault ceases to have you but instead you have the fault i.e. you are in control.

Anyway that’s enough deep talk for now. Easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

History of Garageboy

Some one asked me recently where the name "Garageboy" came from. Well it goes back to my university days which were one of the happiest times of my life. There was a genre of music called "garage" which was a mix of rap, RnB, hip-hop, dance etc.. It was a fusion of everything and i just connected with it. Whenever i went to a garage club and there was a good dj, I just felt alive. I didnt have to dance or drink or anything. Just chill in a corner and appreciate the music. It just clicked with me. It hit all the right notes. I truly was a garage-boy and looked the part with denim jackets, white trainers etc. Should i change the name now? Simple answer no.. That would not make any sense. Garageboy was my past. I come a long way since then but that phase was an important part of my makeup of who i am today.

Its funny i never intended for this blog to be religious. (You can check my 1st few posts) It just happened that way. I spose it was a gradual process as i wanted to get my act right with God that my tots started to change. Ive only begun this journey and while am not garageboy anymore at least it still gets a funny reation when people hear it.

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 3 Rs: Religion, Righteousness and Relationship

I stumbled on this verse at a time when i really needed to see it.

ROMANS 3:10
"as it is written: "None is righteous, no, not one;"

One of the important lessons am being forced to learn is the difference between Religion, Righteousness and Relationship. Religion/Religious, to cut a long story short, is not it. Being religious puts emphasis on doing all the "right" external stuff with what goes on the inside relegated to the background. It is more concerned with the outward appearance of holiness. But men i need God to fix me inside and not really bothered by how people view me.So thats straightforward. I dont want to be religious.

But i desire to be righteous. Yes it is said that God is more concerned with having a relationship with me as opposed to my obedience, but both are intrinsically linked. Sin affects your relationship with God. It either burdens you will guilt that makes you feel unworthy to come to His presence. But thats where the verse above comes in.

"None is righteous, no, not one;"

Does this mean i can do whateva i want and just read my bible everyday. No!!!! Is about focus. Focusing on your relationship God allows you to draw on his power rather than relying on ur own strength which is doomed to failure. I desire to be righteous. Just need to centre my life on God and trust him. I also need to understand why i do the things i do.

Ive been reading a book recently and it talks about how the devil tricks us into meeting God-intended needs in unholy ways.
- The need to be loved he turns into lust
- The need to be respected and accepted into pride
- The need to be successful into greed

Now, this is not an all encompassing list of all sins but it helps but better understand the root causes of our actions. Since i started this blog ive been on a search to find out who i am and why i behave the way i do. I trust deepening my relationship with God will give me additional insight in the matter.

Soul searching is a very tasking journey... But you only get to the end when you figure out you dont find your soul but find God.

Have a great day everyone.

You are how u Drive.

The Japanese judge the personalities of prospective business partners by how they play a round of golf to guage their integrity and temperament. We are constantly told "we are what we eat" or is it how we eat. Its arguable that a greedy dispostion causes gluttony and a miserly one causes you to eat as little as possible. Arguable i know. But ive stumbled on a different one. You are how u drive. The manner which one drives esp in Lagos, in my humble opinion, is a reflection of ones personality. Am trying very hard not to sound moralistic. It shows:

Response to Pressure and Challenges. This shows our willingness to take shortcuts to where we want to go. Everyone has different tolerance levels to traffic. Some once they spot traffic, break the laws immediately turn into the incoming lane or take the one-way road round the corner. Others stay in traffic for a varied period of time before succumbing to the temptation and following the other guy. Some just stick it out till the end. As i said, i dont want to sound moralistic but can u say that this might be a microcosm of how we deal with problems we encounter in life? Just a tot.

Respect for Laws:
Can you claim to be an advocate of law and order if you doing 140km per hr, against traffic on 3rd Mainland Bridge at 9pm at night. Dont laugh. Ive seen this happen. This is just craziness. If u want to put your life at risk thats ur problem. But dont bring innocent people down with you. If i was LASTMA, when i catch such people, i will tell them to get out of the car. Lift their vehicle with a crane and toss it over the bridge into the Atlantic Ocean. Unfortunatley some people only respond to force.

Respect for other people
Is it possible to bash other people's car in traffic to get into their lane or to enter the queue to buy petrol during fuel scarcity. Speed up so u wont let them turn into the road or lane. Stop your car in the middle of the road to answer a phone call and still be a "Nice guy" once you get of your car. Hmmm!!!

Self Esteem
Someone once said you never really know anyone until they are in a position of power.I can safely say that apart from being on drugs, drivers of danfos,tankers, molues and staff buses have serious underlying issues. Once in a position of some sort of power against others because of the size of their vehicles, they take it upon themselves to bully everyone else off the road.
But this is not just limited to these guys. How many times have you ever had a jeep behind you trying to pratically push you off the road to show you whose boss. Or witnessed someone start chasing a car that just overtook them.


Well, as my blog states, these are just my tots. Beeng trying to write about this for a while but hey i finally did. This is 2007. The Year of "No Procrastination". :)

Easy

Come Fill my Heart

I started this habit of pasting lyrics of songs on this blog. Its part lazyiness i know. But i think it sometimes conveys best how one feels and can be very soothing reading the lyrics over as opposed to singing them. So here we go. I promise not to make this too much of a regular occurence. Maybe i should post one every month. Tag it "Song of the Month" or start a "Garageboy's top 10" chart. LOL. Anyhow am in a sort of "penance-like" mood at the mo so this is quite appropriate. Enjoy!!!!!!!!


Fill this void, and emptiness
Shine Your light, on my darkness
Satisfy, and restore my soul
I long for You, make me whole

(Chorus)
Come quench thirsting
Lord I am ready
Here I am waiting, come fill my heart
You are the only, one who can fill me
Here I am waiting, come fill my heart

Come fill my life, I am incomplete
Let Your love rain down on me
I need You more, Lord I confess
More of You, and nothing less

(Repeat Chorus)

(Bridge)
Come and fill me...I am thirsting...
For You only...God so Holy...
Come and fill me...I am thirsting...
For You only...God so Holy...

(Repeat Chorus)

Core Values

Phew!!!! So its 2007. Well to be honest i dont know whats going to be. And i have no particular milestones in mind for this year. Just to develop more professionally and personally. After all my indulgences of the xmas period, its good to chill, detox, wipe the slate clean and start all over again.

In consulting we are all preoccupied by "core values". This are the principles that should govern ones professional life to reflect the organisation's culture. My goal for this year is to be less like me and to embody more of the xtian core values i.e. the fruits of the spirit. DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its gonna be hard. Just a quick recap on the stuff i need to do:

LOVE: I need to be a more loving person and more willing to go the extra mile for people. I particularly need to express it more externally and stuff. I also need to be more open to being hurt by people and not feel taken advantage of when they hurt me.

Joy & Peace . I need to deal with my mood swings and be more cheerful all year round

Patience I dont need to explain this. If you know me am sure u will understand

Kindness Tied in with the love point earlier. There def is room for improvement

Goodness I need to cut down on my lapses and backsliding. Enough said

Faithfulness Ive been yarning about depending on God for ages. Need to work on it

gentleness I think am ok here really. :)

self-control Men this is too deep for discusion on this blog. Anger management comes to mind amongst other things. Maybe later on.


I was going to do the same analysis for the stuff not of the spirit that i should do less of but that would be too much info for public consumption. :) But hey just wanted to wish everyone a fantastic new yr.

Easy people.....

Random Musings of GarageBoy

THIS IS NOT COHERENT!!!!!! JUST GO WITH THE FLOW!!!!!!!!

Am feeling strange this morning and just want to get things off my chest. I hope you can make sense of this.....

Before i start this post let me mention a few things. I hate being in a situation where am solely dependent on anyone. I hate being a victim. It should then not come as a surprise that i also cant stand dependent people or people with a victim mind-set or mentality where nothing is their fault and cant take responsibility for their actions. This people really tick me off.

Okay. So why am i starting my post with such a diatribe. Well, thats beacuse i wanna explain why i am the way i am. Not excuse it or apologise for it, but explain it. Am one of those logic people and not really high on the emotional side. You know . More left brain than right brain. Or is it right brain than left brain. Woteva. But i hope you get the drift. I see things logically and say it how i see it. I see things in a detached manner and when they come out of my mouth, sometimes they come without any sense of emotion. This seems to rub people up the wrong way. Dunno why. Am one of those people that dont understand how people are wrapped up over how they feel about something that they lose sight of the real issue. I might need to learn to be more sensitive but hey if its a dumb idea/decision it will always be a dumb idea/decision.

Apparently, this behaviour is related with a goal-oriented mindset. I am my own harshest critic. In my quest for excellence, i have set very high standards for myself. This means that i detest failure in any aspect of my life. I just can't stand it. Thats cos meeting my goals is the most important thing to me. While i dont feel the need to brag about them and let the whole world know, it matters greatly to me. Whenever am confronted with failure even in the minutest of things i go into a tailspin for days. I wont exactly call it depression but am not in the best of moods. Pls, if am moody just leave me alone. My hatred of failure has been a motivating factor for me to always be successful in whatever i do. Whether its right or wrong is open to debate.

Thats why this xtain life is hard for me. I have to be too things that i hate with a passion. Dependent on some1 else. Have to experience failure. There is no escape. And this two things come at the same time. It is at the times i experience failure, esp in my xtain life that i should go to God, but can u see my problem. I still want to do it myself. I dont wanna let go. But i need to.. To become a successful xtain will mean a serious paridgm shift in my view to life which is not going to be easy to attain. At least i now have a greater appreciation of the problem and the underlying causes. The solution. I have to keep my ego in check. Not my public ego, but my private one.

Its gonna be hard but hey wetin i for do. :)

I prob should proof read this post but i feel its best in this manner.

Easy people.

Experience II

Following from my last post on the Experience, Kirk Franklin performed "Imagine Me" which is one of my favourite songs at the moment. It encapsulates how i feel and i assume it does for many people as well. Hear are the lyrics below. Enjoy


Imagine me, loving what I see when the
Mirror looks at me ‘cause I imagine me
In a place of no insecurities
And I’m finally happy cause
I imagine me

Letting go of all of the ones who hurt me
‘Cause they never did deserve me
Can you imagine me

Saying no to thoughts that try to control me
Remembering all you told me
Lord can You imagine me

Over what my mamma said
And healed from what my daddy did
And I wanna live and not read that page again

Chorus
Imagine me, being free
Trusting you totally
Finally I can…imagine me

I admit it was hard to see
You being in love with someone like me
But finally I can…imagine me

Being strong and not letting people break me down
You won’t get that joy this time around
Can you imagine me

In a world where nobody has to live afraid
Because of your love fears gone away
Lord, can You imagine me

Bridge
Letting go of my past
And glad I have another chance
And my heart will dance
‘Cause I don’t have to read that page again

Vamp
Gone, gone, it’s gone, all gone

The Experience

I went to "The Experience" last Friday and it was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. With all my backsliding it was the uplifting experience i craved to halt the rot. Am not very good at memorising bible verses but am better with songs. I heard this song and it touched me. Whenever u r down just replay it in your mind. Its quite relieving.

I will worship the Lord,
For He is worthy;
I will lay down my sword,
The Prince Of Peace is His name.
King of the flood,
The Lord is mighty;
The Lord can quench the evil flame.

Peace when trouble blows,
Jehovah sees, Jehovah knows;
He is my peace, when sorrow nears,
Jehovah sees, Jehovah hears.

Feel the presence of God,
Upon the water,
Hear the voice of the Lord,
Within the thunder that rolls,
King of the flood,
The Lord is mighty,
The Lord can calm the troubled soul.

Peace when trouble blows,
Jehovah sees, Jehovah knows;
He is my peace, when sorrow nears,
Jehovah sees, Jehovah hears.

Like the breath,
I need to live,
Jehovah takes, Jehovah gives;
Gives me peace,
When trouble blows,
Jehovah sees, Jehovah knows.

Judgement coming, He is my peace;
Men pursue me, He is my peace.
Judge! Judgement is coming, He is my peace;
Men pursue me, He is my peace.

Announcement

Ladies and Gentlemen. I would like to apologise for the delay in the update of my blog. This was primarily as a result of procastination and lazyness. While i cannot categorically certify that a repeat of this fiasco is unlikely, i crave your indulgence as i attempt to rectify this error and try and bring this update service back to normal.

Apologies for any incovenience caused.


Signed

Management :)

The Traffic of Life

Lagos during rush hour must be one of the last places any human being in their right mind would want to be. But as i was coming into work a few weeks ago i began to think it was the perfect microcosm of life. Chaotic. Confusion. Just a fitting description of life.

In traffic there are different lanes. Slow lane, fast lane, etc. Some people stay in their lanes peacefully, while some forcebly push themselves into other lanes thinking it will get them to their locations faster. Sometimes the slow lane becomes fast, sometimes the fast lane slow. But you know the funny thing, accident permiting, you always end up where you want to go. Might not be the time you wanted to get there. But you still get there.

Thats the story about life. People will always tell you which lane to take. When to change lanes etc. It could be based on their experience. It may be based on conventional wisdom but that doesnt mean "diddly squat". Every lane you decide to enter bears a risk and at the end of the day it is at best an educated guess.

Nobody, execpt God, knows the fastest way to get to the end in one piece. I spose thats y i need to reestablish my connection with him asap. He has the map, the traffic report. I really need to sort out my spiritual life sharpish. The TRAFFIC OF LIFE and i dont want to be stuck on Third Mainland Bridge all day.

But you know the most important thing about traffic. Its patience. Cos its out of your power and you cant fly over all the other cars.

Anyhow i hope am sort of coherent cos am not sure am making sense myself :). Easy

Moonwalking

This last few weeks have not been good. I used the word "moonwalking" but infact i really meant backsliding. I had a few bottles of wine over the last few weeks. This now seems to be the drink of choice after successfully fending off Star and JD. Apart of me is happy that this burden ive been carrying is over. The whole abstinence thing placed a lot of pressure on me. While am not going to indulge in copious amounts of alcohol anymore, I think ive resolved this issue. What is the resolution. I aint tellin. :)

But this last few weeks has been characterised by not reading my bible, i didnt even go to church on Sunday. What brought this on. I dont know. I cannot track down what led to this debacle. I suppose thats the whole idea. U skip praying for an one night before you do to bed, then reading ur bible for a day, and slowly but surely uve wandered out of your close relationship with God without even knowing it.

Ive been trying to get back over the last few days but its difficult once you lost the rhythm. I cant help feeling am using up all my mercy points with God considerng all he has done in my life. But thank God he is not a man and this is not how he operates. I need to learn how to discipline myself. Its been tough. Very tough..... I know i shouldnt give up...... Ah well. Enough talking. Just PERFORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Take care peeps

Falling Up!!!

One of the things that i am constantly reminded about is the weakness of my flesh and the fragility of my will power. Carrying the burden of not wanting to dissappoint God and incur his wrath by disobeying him is a heavy burden to carry. And the guilt when we fall is immense. You are so ashamed u have fallen that like Adam you try and hide from God (even though He always knows where you are). Ive been constantly told that falling is a fact of the xtian experience and something that i would have to deal with but its hard especially if you are not used to failure in other parts of your life.

Slowly but surely i am coming to the realisation that am not falling down but falling UP.We should not view our failures as bringing us down in God's eyes, but instead increasing our standing as he sees us maturing into what he has called us to be. Its weird, but as one person once put it, we have to fail our way to success. The most important thing: HAVING YOUR HEART IN THE RIGHT PLACE AND DILLIGENTLY SEEKING HIM. Thats all he asks of us. There is no five year plan to attain spiritual maturity, there are no milestones/deadlines to meet or surpass, no heavy burden of expectations. Just to dilligently seek him.

As we navigate through this crazy life, i pray that we all FUMBLE OUR WAY TO SPIRITUAL MATURITY.

Laters Guys..

Shhhh!!!! Am a Xtain. Keep it quiet!!!!

Ive been finding myself saying this a lot ever since i began on this transformation journey. Its like a disclaimer in case i goof and look like a hypocrite. If the truth be told this is pay back for my earlier days when i used to yap "holier than thous" who will preach to you all day and make u feel condemned and the next minute doing things you wouldnt expect of a xtian. So now that ive crossed to the other side i dont want to turn into "them" especially when i know my frailties.

But is there any such thing as a holy pure xtian. Simple answer i dont know. In any case i assume it will be quite rare. This flesh we carry about is not helping matters. Now am not talking about outward holiness. That can be faked easily.. I mean what goes on in your head. How you are when the "holy police" are not around.

To be honest this might sound strange but it is not exactly cool to be a xtain. A few weeks back i went to a party and drinks were flowing. Someguy offered me a bottle of Star and i said no. Asked if i drink and i said no. I felt like such an odd ball. Like i was some sort of geek. I wont lie to you. I almost cracked there. I miss drinking i no go lie.

Anyway back to the matter at hand. I prob should not be shy to say am a xtain without a caveat. Not be ashamed to say i read my bible everyday without looking like a freak. If i do things, or say things not xtian like then hey, i aint perfect just "work-in-progress.

Thats all folks easy!!!!!!!!

Close the Door!!!!!!!

In Naija there has always been a fascination with opening doors. Doors of opportunity, doors of wealth, etc. However, i would like to focus on a different type of door. Sometimes in the name of curiosity/experimentation we open doors to things in our lives who like an unwanted guest refuse to leave when you want them to. Try out different vices either to fit in or find out what all the fuss is about. Unfortunately, we form relationships with these things and they just wont leave use.

So that got me thinking. Is it better to never have opened the door to them in the 1st place? A line of thinking disagrees. That its better to get all this stuff out of your system while you are young so when u then decide to be a goodie-too-shoes you are not tripped by it anymore. I think i belonged to this school of thought but (like my other fellow members) i drastically underestimated the effort it would take to close this door. But this view still has some merits. The temptation will always be around. Would you rather gain victory over it while you are young and single? Or be severely tempted when other people are affected eg. wife and kids..........

The option of never opening the door in the first place only works if you dont always run away from temptation all the time. Especially if its always on your mind. To be truly in control, one must be able to stand firm amidst temptation. Running away will only postpone the day when you eventually have to choose between opening and closing the door to certain vices. Obviously, surrounding yourself with temptation everytime is barmy, but employing a strategy of always running away is also equally nutty.

What do i think is the best option? Well to be able to never have opened the door, live amidst temptation and still not fall... Unrealistic. Probably. but if i could roll back the hands of time, that is what i would do.

Phew!!!!!!!!! Now that ive got that off my chest. Gosta go.........

Say No to Drugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now before anyone starts getting worried am not on any drugs. But thats the problem. Confused. Calm down. I dont mean illicit drugs like coke, heroin etc. By the way if you are reading this blog and you do use illicit drugs, please let me know who you are so i can update my block list on my messenger. :) . Am talking about prescribed drugs apparently meant to make you feel better.

Now am no pharmacist but i dont believe in taking drugs. A part of me honestly believes they dont work. Am one of those people who only use medicine or see the doctor as a last resort. I dont know why. Maybe its a macho thing and i dont want to accept that i might be weak/infallible and need help. That might be part of it but thats not the whole issue. I think drugs are abused in Naija. Every Nigerian is a pharmacist and know of all least 10 different types of Mydryclinin or mtrcyklin to fix any headache. But you know what the pain always goes away eventually without having to pump your body with funky chemicals.

I believe in the development of a body's natural defences. If you always give it a hand at every chance it gets to stregthen how is it supposed to develop. You just have to chest it.

Well but i do suffer for this belief. Had a bad cold yesterday. Ive always get bad colds from time to time. Everyone tells me its allegeries and recommended some funky medicines called antihistimies or amphetamines or whatever. Now i should just go to a doctor get it checked out and sorted right. But i cant bring myself to do it. Thankfully this attacks only last a day. So i sneeeze like hell for one day and am fine. I suppose thats why i decide to chest it. If it was longer than one day i think my resistance will definitely weaken.


However before i end this post; a quick disclaimer. ABEG!!! IF YOU ARE FEELING ILL NO FOLLOW ME O!!!!!!!! GO TO A DOCTOR!!!!!!!!! I AM OF LIMITED MEANS AND WILL BE A MAJOR DISSAPPOINTMENT TO YOU IN THE EVENT OF SUCCESSFUL LITIGATION.

Easy

O Blogger, Where art Thou?

Well well well. What can i say. Ive missed my blog. Two months. Thats quite shocking really. But am back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

So much has happened over the last few months. Ive had a brush (literally ask my car) with armed robbers. I suppose that completes it. Am a Lagosian now. Once youve had your car bashed, issues with corrupt police men, had to push your car with a stranger to get it to restart on your way to work, then a chanced meeting with armed robbers that really completes the Lagos experience. Well not really. To make it really complete you have to include LASTMA and area boys. Thankfully that hasnt happened. And never will ;)

So what about my xtian life. Have i made any progress since my last deep post? Well, simple answer, no. I believe theres a link between my slacking in my spiritual life to all the crap thats been happening. Thank God for grace that all potentially disastrous events all had the best possible outcome.

I used to think maybe i was being punished for my slacking and i should just live up to the consequences of my in/actions . Maybe this is true. But am grateful to have a God who does not punish me as i deserve. Ive taken it on the chin and am getting my focus back to stop playing with my covering.

But it is really hard finding quality time to spend with God when you are always working and always tired. Its weird that i can watch tv when i am knackered, but whenever i try picking up my bible, i start snoring. Some days, when i have spare time, i find it easy reading everything else but just not my bible. I just cant explain it. But am trying really hard to focus on the most important thing in my life. My relationship with the Most High!!!!! Its still as hard as it has ever been. Like the Israelites i keep on longing for Egypt even though i sense am near the promised land. I need God's grace more than anything now.

Considering the alcohol thing, some progress. Ive stopped drinking beer for a few months and now i have to tighten my belt to stop my trousers falling off :). But there is still a sticky point. Is it wrong to have a glass of wine? Well this is quite tricky. If i just substitute drinking beer for wine, then who am i kidding. I might as well shack the Star as well. It really feels weird not having a drink. Its actually quite tough and i have still do deal with serious cravings. Especially after a bad day. But there is something liberating from not drinking. I still hang out with friends at bars but they dont force me to have a drink which is very helpful. So am not totally square.

Anyway back to the real issue. The Moral of the story simply is Stay close to God!!!!! Especially when it is difficult . No matter how far you stray he is always ready to guide you back home.

Anyhow folks. Nice to be liberated again. Hope it wont be 2 months till my next post.

Easy

When Things Fall Apart

A few weeks ago i had a car accident on the Island, or rather some lady reversed into me without looking back. Women Drivers!!!!!!! :). After going mad, swearing at her and taking her cheque (yes i took a cheque in Lagos), i found out a lot about myself.

1st i still have to work on my temper which i kinda knew already. If any1 had said half the things i said to that lady i would prob have smacked them. Well at least tried to :)

2ndly, after the whole affair, I needed to go somewhere i could clear my head and gather my thoughts and get my act together. Did i go to a friend's house? No. A church? No. I went to my office and to be honest thinking about it now, that is very scary.......... I found solace in my place of work. Talk about a work life balance. Ive now made a conscious decision only to go to work after hours when it is absolutely necessary....

I also learnt some other things about myself which am not going to get into on this blog maybe some other time. But i spose u get to know your real self when "Things fall apart" as opposed to when its all honkey dory........

Anyway thats enough for 2day....

Ps: The cheque cleared by the way. Maybe she wasnt so bad after all and there are still decent people left in Lagos

Lead me not into Temptation. I can find it myself

I got this line from a great book i just finished reading "Winning the Battle Within". It talks about winning the battle over temptation and to be honest i found it to be very insightful. There are few things that i took home from the book and i thought it would be a good idea to share with everyone else:

1. You will be tempted for the rest of our lives: We will never reach a level where we will be such great Xtians that we will be above temptation, We are going to deal with it for the rest of our lives. Doesnt sound like a great thought but thats the way it is
2. Everybody is tempted: Everybody is tempted no matter how great spiritually we might think they are. I mean Jesus was tempted. It doesnt get higher than that.
3. The devil does not make us sin, we choose to sin: We should take responsibility for our actions. No matter how great the temptation we choose to sin ourselves. No body pushes us over the cliff. We jump!!!!!!!!!!
   
4. We need daily deliverance: We live in a world full of temptations and in a carnal body that loves doing wrong. We need to ask God for deliverance from it and our surroundings everyday!!!!!
5. Repent immediately and get back up again: There's no need crying about it when we fall. Repent, move on and get on track with your relationship with God. Period. Lets face it. He knew you were going to fall before you did. Guilt does not serve any purpose apart from making us feel bad
   
6. We can overcome temptation: God will never give us more than we can handle. He knows our weaknesses but he also sees our hearts.
   

Well i just did a bad job paraphrasing a 200 page book but if anything it gave me confidence and spoke to me when i needed to hear it the most.....................

Easy!!!!!!!!!

Love and Money

For a long time, people have used the phrase "Its the thought that counts". Lets face it ive used it a few times to get myself out of tricky situations. The use of money to show love has been branded as shallow, materialistic etc.. But am not so sure anymore.

I suppose this depends on your attitude towards money. If you are a spendthrift then you wont need that much encouragement to buy expensive gifts and stuff. But if you are a tight git, like yours truly, then u find out you will hold back and this is not limited to gifts. It could be beggars in traffic, cousin who needs credit etc..... Is it possible to show love and still be tight.......

I dont know but there is something liberating about doing a good deed. Being prudent is good. But can you be too prudent that it becomes overbearing... I think so. It shouldnt control you. As we say in Naija. Spend this money!!! Live life!!!!! Let it go!!!!!!!

So hey the thought counts but money counts a lot as welll.........

I think?

Anyhows peace out

Searching for oneself

Every once in a while, its always good to find out who exactly we are and why we do the things we do. In searching for that understanding i stumbled on this website http://www.9types.com/homepage.actual.html. It lists the various personalities and traits etc. Now i know that this is not exactly everyones cup of tea, but for a laugh its a good idea to have a look and see where u fit.

Most people will likely fit into many categories but there will be one dominant personality. Its strange but some of the stuff is actually true. (let me talk about myself :) ) So the major question..... So you find out who you are, then what........

Hmmm..... Thats a good question. It depends how much you believe this stuff. Some people might link new reasons why they behave the way they behave. Others dont.....

I feel it is a good thing to come back at intervals to see if your are changing or not.....

So have a look and see if its worth it.


Laters.....

Thou Shalt Not Drink Part II

Now i know sequels are in fashion and i dont mean those crappy Nollywood sequels which have been in season before the beginning of time. I mean the other equally crappy sequels that come out of Hollywood i.e. Mission Impossible 3, Scary Movie 100 etc. Lets face it. Sequels are never as good as the originals and most of the time they get worse and worse e.g. the Matrix. But thats not the reason for this post. I would actually want to revisit an issue i dicussed earlier on in my blog.

Is it wrong to drink?

I actually tried a period of abstinence which was quite interesting. I discovered that i didnt die which shows am not as much as an alcoholic as i feared but it also shows me that that in itself doesnt make for a better relationship with God. It was good for the outward saintly appearance but not much for inside. In my opinion it was largely symbolical and to be honest i dont think its that mission critical.

Its about moderation and self control just like any part of life. Its very difficult to be holy. To be honest sometimes its feels like its just not in my nature and i shouldnt bother, But a little voice keeps on telling me to keep going.

I never thought that being a xtian was such an excruciating experience. Sometimes i feel like giving up. Its hard and it can get you down when you know you are weak. and pathetic......

Anyway, i think i need to take stock and take things easy for a while. I hate to say this but it looks like there is going to be a part 3. (Hate sounding like a hypocryte). What can I say the story continues.....

Laters

Home is Where the Heart Is

Well it was in the "Wizard of Oz" where Dorothy goes there is no place like home. And you know what she was absolutely right. There really is no place like home. Its very strange that despite all Nigeria's problems whenever u leave for a period of time you start longing to come back even with NEPA, traffic etc. It got me thinking so what makes home, well, home.

Home changes for us all as we go through life. Could be the town you were born, work or went to university. Its that place where you feel or felt at peace, at ease, at home. I know am no masochist but Lagos is home for me. I dont know why? To the rational mind it shouldnt be. But this is where i grew up. Ive had memories here that i would never want to erase or forget. Amidst all the chaos it seems Lagos will always have somewhere special in my heart. Well what can i say. Home is where the Heart is. How true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Say Something Positive

Now if you have been a frequent reader of my blog you will notice i bash Naija a lot. Lets face it, its very easy to do. But i always critise foreign correspondents who only write negative stories about Nigeria. So a few weeks back i decided to put my money where my mouth was and write something positive. After thinking for about 20 mins, i noticed the ideas were not flowing as they normally do. Is it that there is nothing good to write about Nigeria or its always easier to write negative stories?

The fact is, in my opinion, it is more of the latter than the former. It seems easier for humans to be negative, pessimistic and to see the wrong in everything than the noble and good. This is moreso when weve been through what weve been thru in Naija. Its like "Ive heard this all before", " This country is $%^^£$" etc. But does this pessimistic atmosphere enable objective thinking about Nigeria's situation? Besides decay and corruption, is it that nothing of any repute occurs in this nation?

So here i go. I will give it a try. Say something positive. This might sound lame and basic but i honestly belive it is a testament to Nigerians that despite our differences and all we have been though, we still stay together as one nation. I dont think that there is any other group of people in the world as long suffering as your average Nigeria who despite all the desperation around him keeps on striving and hoping that tomorrow "go beta". Who lives in horrendous conditions without the basic necesities of life. Who can barely afford to provide for his families needs, but still somehow wakes up the next day prepared for whatever challenges the day might throw at him. Despite all his faults, that kind of persistence and strenght takes guts and not only do Nigerians do this, they do it with a smile on their faces. This i say is admirable.

So for one post at least let me say this. I look forward to a Nigeria where its citizens long-suffering will be rewarded. And I hope, pray and believe that i will see it in my life-time .

God Bless Nigeria!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dependency on God

The one thing i have noticed for a while now is that it is both easy and difficult to depend on God. What does that mean? Exactly what i said. Theres a tendency, i suppose human tendnecy, that we seperate our challenges into two. Those that we can handle overselves e.g. routine work, daily challenges etc. Then we also have things that we beleive are out of hands that we need God for e.g. life partner, career aspirations etc..... For the latter it seems easy to depend on God for them because they are huge... But for the former its much harder..

I dont know about you, but i struggle with this. I suppose its ego related. To depend totally on God requires a lot of humility. You just need to cut yourself down and acknowledge that without God you are nothing and you need him for everything you do in life. Now thats tough. To beleive that every success you ever achieve is not solely because of your actions or intelligence and you might not be as great as you think you are can be difficult. But that daily dependence on God puts that ego in check. It stops you thinking more highly of yourself than u ought and helps you relate better with others.

This is an area that will need to be reflected on deeply and "requires improvement".

Anyway, enough about that.. See yall around..

The Customer is always WRONG

Now in Nigeria am sure we are used to the way things are always the reverse of how they are in more developed well run countries. The title of this post seems silly, but am starting to believe thats exactly what many Nigerians in the service industry think.

In the space a few hours, a few weekends ago, i was subjected to the "Lets frustrate the customer" attitude of my fellow Nigerians. A lady in a shop said a friend and i were not "bouyant" enough to shop at her store, which i thought was a very nice way to get customers. I suppose the whole idea was to get us to prove her wrong and buy something. Youve got no chance there love.

Another lady at a restaurant was not that bad but was "robotic" in her attitude. There was a deal for a meal and a drink for N800. I said i wanted a bottle of water and she told me i could only have either coke, fanta and sprite. And i was like, water is cheaper than coke so it benefits you and benefits my health as well. But i think she had issues which logic so she wouldnt come round. After arguing with her for about 5 minutes, i asked to talk to her manager. But alas, they attended the same customer service school and he didnt see anything wrong in her flawed arguement. As i was very hungry i decided to have the coke and behave myself. A while back i would have argued with the manager for another 10 mins but i couldnt be arsed. The chicken was nice so hey all is forgiven. I must just make sure i sneak in my bottle of water next time. :)

And talking about sneaking drinks in, a bottle of Coke in Silverbird is now N300. Thats about $2 for a 50cl bottle of Coca-cola. Now there a lot things i would rather do than succumb to the love of margins by certain organisations. But guess what people still pay for it. AAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrggggggggHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! . Thats why they keep on ripping us off. We willingly let them. As for me, unless that bottle of coke is made of gold, i aint interested.

Anyway, back to customer service. Why do Nigerians find it difficult to serve people. This goes all the way to the higest echelons of power in this nation. Everyone wants to be the Oga and feels serving people is beneaath them. We are we so full of ourselves, what do we have to be proud out?

Its all about humility... It never goes amiss. Anyhow, till it changes, i will continue to be confront rudeness and foolishness wherever i encounter it.

Cheers..........

Clay in the Potter's Hands

Today's sermon focused on us being clay in God's hands as he moulds us and shapes us into the person he called us to be. The one thing that struck me about the sermon was that it is a continuous process. Its not like after a few weeks, months or years we become the finished article, all perfect, holy and pure. Its a process that occurs daily in our lives and involves refining our rough edges or starting all over again for the 100th time.

This is one of the most important things to grasp. The magnitude of God's grace is so huge that its impossible to quantify especially as a human being. If someone messes you up a few times you cut them off. Period. No questions asked. So it's hard to understand why someone else can tolerate the multitude of times we screw up (even in a week) and not immediately punish us. To be honest, i cannot fathom the depth and breadth of that kind of love and can only be grateful its there.

I always feel weird when i post a spiritual topic. I dunno why. I suppose it kinds of puts pressure on me to act and behave in a certain way so as not to look like a hypocrite. But hey i aint gonna lie. I aint righteous, i aint holy and i aint perfect. But i would like to be all these things and i intend to strive towards this. Its a very long journey full up high mountains and deep valleys. I might stray from the path once in a while but guess what, He is nearby to put me back on track.

Anyhow, enough deep talk for now.

Later

Its been a long time, long time .....

Well its been about 2-3 weeks since my last post which is quite scandalous but hey am back. I spose i just got sucked into Lagos life and kept on procastinating...

Anyhow am back. I hope i still remember how to do this thing :)

Later